<%-- Page Title--%> Write to Mita <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 115 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

July 25, 2003

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Dear Mita,
I'm a graduate from one of the best institutions in Bangladesh. I completed my graduation last year and have been trying to get a job since but couldn't. I sent a number of CVs to various organisations in response to advertisements but none of them have replied. I don't understand why. I don't understand whether I'm over-qualified or under-qualified. Most of the organisations are looking for job experience but how can I gain experience if I don't get a job? My family is not being supportive and often rebuke me for failing to get a job. I'm very frustrated. What should I do?

Dear Frustrated,
It is always difficult to get the first job, not only for you but for most people. You are absolutely right in saying that how you can gain experience without a job. Well, that is a part of the deal. You will have to get your foot in somehow and then gradually make an impression. With your motivation, educational qualifications and skill, I am sure a job is just around the corner. It is a matter of time, and you will just have to persevere. Remember, the thing about a job is that today you might be unemployed and tomorrow you might be called for an interview and be successful. Therefore, put your frustrations aside and concentrate on your job search, it is just waiting around the corner.


Dear Mita,
I'm going through a very difficult time right now. My boyfriend, who I've been with for the past two and a half years, has broken up with me because he thinks I don't trust him. I said something to him on impulse which really upset him and which I really regret. But he's convinced that I don't trust him and refuses to get back with me though I've pleaded several times. Everyone tells me to be patient or to move on. I'm unable to do anything without him. How do I convince him that I really do trust him? Please don't tell me to talk it over with him because I've tried that several times.

Dear Hopeless,
If you have done all the talking, pleading etc then it is time to stop now. He will have to rationalise and decide if he wants to continue this relationship. Certainly you have made an error, but that does not mean that he will hold it against you for ever. He is putting too much emphasis on a single act while he should think about your relationship in its totality. He needs to appreciate all the other aspects of your personality that brought both of you together in the first place. However painful it might be, just be dignified from now onwards and continue to be the person you are. If he comes back then he loves you, if he does not then he is not worth crying for.


Dear Mita,
I'm a 21-year-old student of a private university. I'm in love with one of my teachers. We're fit for each other in every way. Our age difference is also reasonable. I'm a serious type of person and have never been involved with anyone else. I can't think of anyone other than this man as my life partner but he has no idea about my feelings for him. Is this wrong? If not, how should I go about this matter?
-- Soulmate

Dear Soulmate,
I respect your conviction that he is the right person for you. However, relationships are between two people and both must have a say in all decisions. Without going any further, you must try to understand his feelings about you. If he has no idea about how you feel then you have to take the first step to inform him. Please do not build castles in the air which might lead to too much disappointments later on.



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