Dear
Mita,
I am a 2nd year computer science and engineering student
of University of Science and Technology (USTC). I have been
in love with a girl in my village for one year. Although
I know that she has not yet come of age for marriage, I
proposed her but she said that she is too young to take
such a decision; moreover her older sister is still unmarried.
When her parents came to know about us-- they attacked my
father and now there is a bit quarrel between our families.
My parents have informed me that they will never accept
this girl. Our two families were very close before this
matter. I cannot think of anything without her. Please show
me a way to get her.
Iqbal, Chittagong.
Dear
Iqbal,
If the girl is under age then you will have to wait till
she is older. Meanwhile find someone who will be able to
mediate between your two families. You are only a 2nd year
student and in no position to get married. Please complete
your studies and establish your self before you enter into
any serious commitment. If the girl is serious about you
then she will wait.
Dear
Mita
I'm a 16 years old, studying in a well-reputed college
for my “A” level. I love a girl with all of my heart and
soul. She is a few months younger than me and is giving
her S.S.C. I have had a crush on her from the day I first
saw her. We started talking on the phone and became very
friendly; and now we have a great understanding between
us: we even went out alone a few times. I'm not the most
attractive of all her male friends, but I'm quite certain
we have the best understanding and that's more important.
Sometimes I really get bored if I don't talk to her for
a day or so. She's a great person to be with and I really
am proud when I walk with her in public places and I can't
believe I am in the company of such a beautiful girl. I'm
sure she's reading this as she always does on Fridays and
is understanding who I am. I know with this letter I'm jeopardize
our friendly relationship but I've got nothing else to do:
I've got my back to the wall. I hope you will give me some
kind of guidance and help me be with her.
Ameer, Dhaka
Dear
Ameer,
I don not understand what kind of a guarantee you need.
If you have a great understanding with the girl that you
like then what is your problem? The only thing is that both
of you are young and should keep the relationship in the
right perspective. If you continue to be a good friend,
respect her for what she is and support her growth and development,
then there should be no problem. You both have a long way
to go and many challenges to face. The important thing to
remember is that there is a time and age for everything.
For you, this is the time to study, develop friendships
and plan you future. I did not understand your sentence
of having your back to the wall.
Dear
Mita,
I am in my final year of honours in English at Dhaka
University. I have recently discovered that my English is
very vulnerable and weak. What can I do? Should I prepare
myself and sit for tests like TOEFL and IELTS? Do you have
any methods or ways for me to improve my English. When I
read newspapers what part should I pay more attention to.
It is strange that may of my classmates evade the question
of how to improve my English when I ask them. Please help
me.
Worried, Dhaka
Dear
Worried,
There are many ways to improve your English. Just sitting
for expensive examination will not help you learn the language.
You must try reading aloud, such as English newspapers,
magazines etc. Try to converse in English as much as you
can. Writing letters can also help. Take assistance from
the computer there are many programs to help learn English.
Take tests when you want to assess your proficiency.
Dear
Mita,
I love a boy who is 2-3 years junior to me. Although
we never talk to each other I have no doubt that we like
each other. As I am conscious about the impossibility of
this relationship I tried to resist my feelings. Unfortunately
we have been out of each other's sights for over a year.
I realise the futility of the saying “out of sight, out
of mind” because I can't forget him even for a day. I fear
that he misunderstands me and does not know how I feel about
him. It is not possible for me to contact him or talk to
him because I am not brave enough. I always expect him to
talk to me first. What can I do? I am tired of struggling
with myself. I am in a great dilemma now. Please give me
a good suggestion.
Depressed, Khulna
Dear
Depressed,
Please get out of this depression and analyse the reasons
for your feelings for this person. If you have not seen
him for a year, have no contact and don't even know whether
he likes you, then your relationship is not going anywhere.
It exists more in your mind then anything else. Being in
love should not inhibit you from expressing yourself. However,
you must also be prepared for a rejection, as this person
has never made any commitment to you. If you want to stop
struggling then get it out in the open and face the consequences
otherwise you will continue to remain in this dilemma.
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