Dear
Mita,
I am a 29-year-old single man. I am however having problems
with this girl I am going out with. I have no intention
of getting married to her. But she is trying to entrap me.
She is telling me that she might be pregnant etc.. I will
arrange for an abortion if that is the case and say goodbye
to her forever. She's a real pain and constantly makes derogatory
comments about my family, which I simply resent. I didn't
know her true character before going out with her for a
while. She wants to force me into marrying her. I told her
that I can only be her boyfriend but no more. I do not want
to marry her. She also threatened to call up my parents
and telling them about us. Next time I will be careful when
it comes to girls in Bangladesh. You may think I am being
an arrogant bastard but I am really not. I am really scared
and anxious about my present situation. It would be a real
help if you were by my side at this moment. I really don't
know what to do anymore. I am very confused. I cannot concentrate
on my work. Please give me some good advice.
-Confused Anxious
Dear
Confused,
You have to take responsibility for the mess you are in.
Your tone also demonstrates your utter lack of sensitivity
towards a woman you have been intimate with. Have you thought
that this woman might have trusted you and believed that
you will marry her. For some reason you have lost interest
in her and want to get out. I do not also understand what
you mean by saying that you can only be her "boyfriend
"and nothing more. There is certainly a misunderstanding
regarding what you both understand by the word "boyfriend".
Anyway, this is about our lives and your future. One mistake
should not lead to others. You will have to talk to her
in a more sensitive manner and explain the implication of
a marriage in which both of you will be unhappy. Next time
please have some respect for people that you have relationships
with.
Dear
Mita,
I am 21 years old and studying in a reputed private university.
I am madly in love with one of my classmates. She tries
to avoid me but I am very passionate about her. When we
get together for studying, the moments are so colourful.
I cannot think of anything other than her. Recently she
has told me that she is in love with her cousin and that
I should forget her, but I don't know how to. I am taking
drugs in order to forget her but in every moment I see her
eyes watching me and her face tells me something that I
cannot express. Am I just to go mad? What should I do?
-Crazy in Love
Dear
Crazy,
If she is in love with someone else then there is nothing
much you can do. You will just have to forget her. I know
this is painful but disappointments are a part of life.
Things do not always work out the way we want. The clever
thing is to realize this as soon as possible and get over
it. There is life beyond this and you will just have to
look for it.
Dear
Mita,
I am a 19-year old A-Level student. For
the last three and half years I have been having an affair
with a 23-years-old Honours student at DU. We love each
other madly. We have a very good understanding. We have
never had any serious physical relationship. But the problem
is that after finishing my A-level exam, I have to go abroad
with my family this year. I am not sure that I will come
back here again. But I can't live without him. So we decided
that we will marry on our own before I go to abroad. Will
it be a good idea? I am also confused whether my parents
will accept him or not. Please help me!
-Boochy
Dear
Boochy,
I do not think that it is a good idea to rush into marriage
at your age, no matter what the circumstances might be.
Marriage is a very serious business and demands a life time
of commitment. There is no reason why your relationship
cannot continue even if you move abroad. No matter where
you live, you can always meet and get married but this must
be at the right time. There is no sense in alienating your
family for no reason. You both should wait for the right
time, complete your studies become independent and then
get married if you still want to.
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