Positives out of Negatives

Chintito

For those of you who think that law and order, misrepresentation of facts, treachery by bureaucracy, price of essentials, political unrest and dualism in almost every sphere of life has brought us down as a nation to a situation where one could not be blamed for uttering out of sheer exasperation that "it could NOT have been worse", just bear a moment for Frank who is doing the internet.

Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, "It could have been worse."

To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it.

At the office one day, one of them said, "Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!"

"That's awful," said Frank "but it could have been worse."

"How in the hell," asked his bewildered friends "could it have been worse?"

"Well," replied Frank, "If it happened the night before, I'd be dead now!"

Perhaps many of us are at this hour in time trying to figure out how it could have been worse.

This is quite a nice feeling -- finding positive out of every negative -- which we don't always manage to do, says another internet buff. According to Mr. Optimism everyone can find a reason to be gratified if only one would look at the silver lining.

A parent should be thankful for the teenage daughter who is complaining about doing house errands, because that means she is at home and not on the streets.

A parent should be thankful for the son who his nagging for pocket money because it means he has not yet been picked up for ransom.

A wife should be thankful for the husband who snores all night, because he is at home asleep with her and not with someone else. I can assure all husbands that I am well aware that many wives do likewise, snore that is.

A citizen should be thankful for the taxes that he pays because it means he is employed. I believe the Finance Minister would be pleased with that publicity just before the budget.

A host should be thankful for the mess to clean after a party because it means that he has been surrounded by friends.

A podgy person should be thankful for the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means s/he has enough to eat. The salesperson is sure to tell you that you look gorgeous and that the outfit was cut out for you. Don't believe him, unless you like the person and could ask him to repeat the nonsense. Men are warned not to try same approach with salesgirls. Some of them are rather uptight. Someone should tell them that they should be thankful for the job they have.

A person should be thankful for his shadow that watches him walk because it means he is out in the sunshine. It could be the dead of night, when he should be thankful for the electricity supply that is running.

A lady should be thankful for a floor that needs mopping, the clothes that need cleaning, and the pile of laundry and ironing because it means she has a home, a mop, lots of soap, water and clothes to wear.

We should be thankful for all the complaining we hear about the government because it means that we have freedom of speech. I sincerely admire the political cartoonists, who express so much about our politicians without as much as uttering a word. These are gifted people, the cartoonists, that is.

A self-driven owner should be thankful for the parking spot he finds at the far end of the parking lot because it means he is capable of walking and that he has been blessed with a car, and that the building owner has not considered the footpath as the parking. Most do, though.

A driver should be thankful likewise because it means he has been able to drop off his boss far enough for him to have a cigarette in peace.

A man should be thankful for the noise he has to bear from his neighbours because it means that he can hear, and that his neighbours have a powerful music system, which he may be able to borrow. Normally music system owners love to take their set anywhere to put the show on; more of a show off.

Anyone should be thankful for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means one has been capable of working hard, and that one has muscles.

You should be thankful for the alarm that goes off early in the morning because it means that you are still alive, and well enough to hold this between your hands.

Personally, I should be thankful for the magazine's deadline because it means I am not on the streets, nor have I been picked up for ransom, that I am employed, that I have a home, a mop, lots of soap, water and clothes to wear, that I have muscles, that I can hear my editor yelling at me even if she is not saying a word.