Mix and Watch

Guy: Did it hurt?
Girl: What?
Guy: Falling out of Heaven.
Man: You must be tired?
Woman: Why?
Man: Because you been running through my mind all day!

Q: Haven't I seen you some place before?
A: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one.
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Boltu was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Moti, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.

Aftab looked at Moti and remarked, "That is really nice. After all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names."
Moti hung his head and whispered, "To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."

Mintu was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge.
He turned to his wife Shirin, with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest schmucks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replied, "Why thank you, dear!"

A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbour. "I feel really good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave Tk 500 to a bum."
"You gave a bum a whole 500 takas? That's a lot of money to just give away. What did your husband say about it?"
"Oh, he thought it was the proper thing to do. He said, 'Thanks.'"

A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, "I'm a walking economy."
His friend replies, "How's that?"
"It's like this -- my hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression."

"I'm ashamed of you," the mother said. "Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do."
"He threw a rock at me!" the boy said. "So I threw one at him."
"When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me."
"What good would that have done? My aim is much better than yours."

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom -- I'll show you how."

A woman was sick of her husband's drinking, so she decided to teach him a lesson. She dressed up like Satan, and when her husband returned home from another bender, she jumped out from behind the sofa and screamed.
"You don't scare me," the man said, looking her over calmly. "I married your sister."