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     Volume 4 Issue 1 | June 25, 2004 | 8th Anniversary Issue


   Editor's Note
   Cover Story
   Nothing if Not     Serious
   Slice of Life
   A Roman Column
   Food for Thought
   One Off
   Straight Talk
   Dhaka Diary
   New Flicks
   Write to Mita

   SWM Home



Philosophy of Life...

On the first day God created the cow...
God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer...for that I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life, you want me to live for sixty years...let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty," and God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog...
God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past...I'll give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking... give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten." So God agreed.
On the third day God created the monkey...
God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh... I'll give you a twenty year life span."
The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so...dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too."
And God agreed again.
Now on the fourth day, God created man...
God said, "Eat, sleep, play, enjoy...do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy... I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What...only twenty years? No way man, tell you what, I'll take my twenty...the forty cow gave back... the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back...
that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God... "You've got a deal!"
So this is why for...
the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing...
the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family...
the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren...
the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody...
Life has now been explained.

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.
Their domestic tranquillity had long been known about the town, and on this very special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit.
He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
"Well"...explained the husband..."it all goes all the way back to our honeymoon, you see, we visited the Grand Canyon and we took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule."
He continues..."well now, we hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled, she quietly said...that's once."
"We proceeded a little further when the mule stumbled again and my wife quietly spoke...that's twice."
"You know, that mule hadn't gone a half-mile when it stumbled a third time."
My wife promptly removed a gun from her purse, hopped off the beast, and shot the mule dead."
"I protested over her treatment of the mule, she slowly turned to me and quietly said...that's once."

A man enters a cafe, sits down & notices that the special of the day is cold chili. When the waitress comes to take his order, he says, "I'll take the cold chili." "I'm sorry, the gentlemen next to you got the last bowl," says the waitress. "Oh. I'll just have coffee, then." After a while the man notices that the guy next to him who got the last bowl of cold chili is finishing a rather large meal and the chili bowl is still full. He asks, "Are you going to eat that?"
The other man replies, "No." "Would you sell it to me?" "You can have it for free if you want it."
So the man takes the bowl of chili and begins to eat it. When he gets about half way through the bowl, he notices a dead mouse in the bowl and pukes the chili back into the bowl. The other man says sympathetically, "That's about as far as I got, too."

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife with someone else. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”








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