Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I have become a doctor after a lot of struggle. I wasn't planning on getting married or even engaged to anyone any time soon, but my father, who is 90, really wants to see me married as I am his youngest son. My mother wants me to marry a doctor and because of this I proposed to a girl at my college. She did not say anything at first but later refused me. I was shocked and decided that I wouldn't ever accept her even if she approached me. Some days later, she did, crying and promising that she wouldn't behave like that again, and that if I didn't marry her she would commit suicide. Two months later, she left me again, saying it was a mistake. She was my first love and I can't forget her. How can someone leave someone after making so many promises? What should I do?
--Destitute

Dear Destitute,
Unfortunately you have become involved with an immature and foolish girl. She does not know her mind and is basically undecided. You should get over this affair as soon as possible. Life holds many good prospects for you and therefore you should not allow something like this to bother you too much. Take your time in choosing the right partner as marriage is a very serious business. Do not rush into it no matter what the pressure. Get to know young women who might appear to be suitable and, at the right time, take a decision. You might be disappointed again but that does not matter as long as you make the right choice in the end.

Dear Mita,
I am an Honours student of Dhaka College. A year and a half ago, I met a girl at a coaching centre where I both learn and teach English. She is shy, delicate and quiet. I liked her from the very beginning and still do. But when I tried to talk to her I didn't get any response. Somehow, we became friends about four months ago, but she still hardly talks to or looks at me and I feel as if she doesn't give me as much importance as I give her. I have no intention of taking this further than friendship but am disappointed in her attitude. Is she taking it any other way? Is this real friendship? What should I do -- continue or cut it off?
--Stupid Shun

Dear Stupid Shun,
Just take it easy. She must be a shy person and needs time to open up. Do not push this any further. If she feels the need of a friend she will come to you. Just be sincere and honest in your dealing with her. Do not embarrass her with too much attention and let her be. Some people take longer to open up and perhaps this is just her style.