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to Mita
Dear
Mita,
I'm a girl of 20. I have a phone friend with whom I was in
love for a long time. I never expressed my feelings in words
but at one time he seemed to guess it. He indulged my love,
but I found his behaviour ambiguous. Consequently, my love
gradually dissipated because of his indifference. But he's
been a good friend to me. I've been in touch with one of my
former teachers since I left school. Perhaps I wouldn't keep
any contact if it were not for my attraction towards him.
His physical appearance and personality spellbinds me. I might
be developing profound feelings for him though I'm sure that
he doesn't feel the same. But I want at least his friendship
forever. A few days ago, on my last birthday, I found my phone
friend's attitude a bit romantic. What will I do if I find
that he loves me? I want any one of them as a life partner.
The problem is that I can't bear to lose either of them. Please
give me some suggestions as to how to turn from an ex-student
to a good friend.
L'intact
Dear
L'intact,
You seem to be one as your letter indicates. You can always
be a good friend if you are sincere and remove any thoughts
of romantic engagement from your mind. Also remember, it is
hard to plan for the rest of your life as you are only 20.
You really have to decide who you want as a friend and which
person you prefer to be your life partner. As this is a difficult
decision, I suggest that you go along with your idea of friendship
which is safer.
Dear
Mita,
I am a student of BBA, currently studying at a private university.
I have a deep interest in reading, studying and acquiring
knowledge. Though my field is business studies, I am also
interested in computer science, engineering, history, Bangla
and English fiction, politics, etc. But it is impossible to
read on all these things at the same time. Though I study
them in my leisure time, I'm becoming concerned that it might
affect my CGPA. I also want to be involved in sports and cultural
things but these will require me to miss classes and cut study
hours. What can I do to be a well-rounded, perfect man?
Frustrated
Dear
Perfect Man,
Why do you want to be a perfect man when it is much nicer
and more fun to be just a normal person. The trick is to have
a balance between your studies and extra curricular activities.
Too much of anything is not healthy but then this is the age
for you to experiment, enjoy and let loose your curiosity.
There is no reason for you to cut classes to take part in
sports or cultural events. Just calm down and do what you
like most.
Dear
Mita,
I am a second year student of DU. My family is very needy
and I have been bearing my own expenses since Class 6. I dropped
out of school after my SSCs. I went abroad to make some money
but I returned after having failed. We fell into extreme debt.
I resumed my education and disappointed my parents after getting
into DU. Now, one of my rich maternal uncles wants me to marry
his daughter and has promised to bear my expenses as well
as give me a handsome amount of cash. My parents are very
interested and so on one side I have my education and on the
other my family obligation. What should I do?
Swift
Dear
Swift,
It is totally unacceptable to marry just for the sake
of security. You might end up being unhappy for the rest of
your life. On the other hand, you do have some practical considerations.
You should talk to your parents and ask them not to pressure
you to get married before you graduate. Regarding your uncle's
proposal, you might want to meet this girl and see if there
is any chance that you might like her. Perhaps it might work
out as many arranged marriages do work out well.
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