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     Volume 4 Issue 33 | February 11, 2005 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I'm a girl of 20. I have a phone friend with whom I was in love for a long time. I never expressed my feelings in words but at one time he seemed to guess it. He indulged my love, but I found his behaviour ambiguous. Consequently, my love gradually dissipated because of his indifference. But he's been a good friend to me. I've been in touch with one of my former teachers since I left school. Perhaps I wouldn't keep any contact if it were not for my attraction towards him. His physical appearance and personality spellbinds me. I might be developing profound feelings for him though I'm sure that he doesn't feel the same. But I want at least his friendship forever. A few days ago, on my last birthday, I found my phone friend's attitude a bit romantic. What will I do if I find that he loves me? I want any one of them as a life partner. The problem is that I can't bear to lose either of them. Please give me some suggestions as to how to turn from an ex-student to a good friend.

Dear L'intact,
You seem to be one as your letter indicates. You can always be a good friend if you are sincere and remove any thoughts of romantic engagement from your mind. Also remember, it is hard to plan for the rest of your life as you are only 20. You really have to decide who you want as a friend and which person you prefer to be your life partner. As this is a difficult decision, I suggest that you go along with your idea of friendship which is safer.

Dear Mita,
I am a student of BBA, currently studying at a private university. I have a deep interest in reading, studying and acquiring knowledge. Though my field is business studies, I am also interested in computer science, engineering, history, Bangla and English fiction, politics, etc. But it is impossible to read on all these things at the same time. Though I study them in my leisure time, I'm becoming concerned that it might affect my CGPA. I also want to be involved in sports and cultural things but these will require me to miss classes and cut study hours. What can I do to be a well-rounded, perfect man?

Dear Perfect Man,
Why do you want to be a perfect man when it is much nicer and more fun to be just a normal person. The trick is to have a balance between your studies and extra curricular activities. Too much of anything is not healthy but then this is the age for you to experiment, enjoy and let loose your curiosity. There is no reason for you to cut classes to take part in sports or cultural events. Just calm down and do what you like most.

Dear Mita,
I am a second year student of DU. My family is very needy and I have been bearing my own expenses since Class 6. I dropped out of school after my SSCs. I went abroad to make some money but I returned after having failed. We fell into extreme debt. I resumed my education and disappointed my parents after getting into DU. Now, one of my rich maternal uncles wants me to marry his daughter and has promised to bear my expenses as well as give me a handsome amount of cash. My parents are very interested and so on one side I have my education and on the other my family obligation. What should I do?

Dear Swift,
It is totally unacceptable to marry just for the sake of security. You might end up being unhappy for the rest of your life. On the other hand, you do have some practical considerations. You should talk to your parents and ask them not to pressure you to get married before you graduate. Regarding your uncle's proposal, you might want to meet this girl and see if there is any chance that you might like her. Perhaps it might work out as many arranged marriages do work out well.


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