::: Star Weekend Magazine :::

Perspective

WOMEN vs. MEN the real race

CHADNI ISLAM

Men and women can never be equals, there will always arise a discrepancy between the two classes. Now, the question arises which of the two will be superior, and in that case, there is also a definite answer. Men can never be compared on the same scale with women or be treated with the same prestige and status. Men are definitely, in many ways, the inferior race. It seems that all through the years the fight has been for the wrong reasons by the wrong set. I am not speaking as a feminist because I hope men and women never become equals, there is a lot of charm in being the more ornamental part of society, but people should have a chance to take a look at the picture from a different perspective.

I have to hand it to the feminists. Men are now finally thinking about giving a second look to what we are actually about and even trying to change their outlook. It is impossible to totally change the total mindset of a patriarchal world like ours, so maybe we can change the points of view they are taking and turn it to our advantage. I congratulate feminists on what they have done so far, but they may have overlooked some vital points.

Women have been trying so hard for years to establish a position for themselves in the battle of the sexes, but I don't see the reason for it when we are in many ways so superior to them. Gender in sociological terms is defined as the behaviour expected of a man or a woman. The people that laid down these expectations is society itself. It is up to us to change these foundations, so that women can have a stronger recognition in society. Mankind started civilisation; they enforced laws and set standards for measuring greatness. We can start a whole new civilisation ruled by women where men can finally respect us for what we are already doing and not for doing their jobs better.

The fact that we, women, have been overlooking this factor for so many years is a sign of our greatness. The grounds on which the thought never even registers in men's minds is because they know that no matter how hard they tried they would never have been able to achieve our level. They know our job is much harder than theirs. On the other hand we women have already been able to achieve almost all of the qualities they have achieved.

This sense of bias was created totally by society, women also included voluntary help, by allowing the men to denounce them. Many people have a misconception that Islam denounces womankind by making them do "purdah" and keeping them hidden from view, whereas it is actually the opposite. Islam has actually escalated our value in society and to men. Before Islam was introduced to the world girl babies were buried alive as they were said to be burdens. Islam taught men to protect women as they would protect valuable jewels. Islam educated men to place women on pedestals and keep them away from all natural and man-made designs of destruction that might even touch their beauty and innocence. Women are going out a lot more now, and men don't restrain them as before, but we have to remember Islam installed this respect in them for us at the very beginning.

Men are declared as the biologically stronger race, but is it not the opposite? Can they even think of having the powers that we have of bearing a live human body in their wombs and being able to raise it? Yes, they don't have the burden of pregnancy and have the ability to carry heavy things but would they really be able to deal with such pains of carrying a live human body for nine months and enduring labour pains? Women do it all the time, and yet they have more children. Women have such strong emotional powers that transcend mere physical exhaustion. Even a father who raises his child alone has to take the help of another female in the house.

People may call us too emotional but we are incapable of logical thinking; it's just that we tend to give more importance to what our heart tells us. We don't need the excessive level-headedness of the guys, better results are derived when your heart leads your intelligence. Perhaps we would have had a much better world with only women leading. We might be called instigators of small battles, but we would never lead them to unecessary deaths and general misery that men have created through wars. Men tend to bottle up their anger and take it to explosive proportions. Even in our country, if the women were making the sole decisions, there might have been less bloodshed. It is ultimately because the men decide, that we have reached this position.

Most of us take it for granted when we find young women taking oaths of marriage and performing their duties religiously. Rarely do we take into account what their earlier life was like. Men tend to think they know these through genes and older women think if we could do it so can they, it will just vary with the amount of time taken. Men change very little after marriage, they think this is the time to indulge themselves in the love and worship of their wives. They sacrifice very little compared to what we go through. Whereas men are not even expected to do anything extra to make the wife feel welcome. The men of these days are much more compliant but they would never be charged if they weren't so. In the same way women are never given any extra credit for what they are doing for their families, because it is expected of them. Men and women should take equal parts in making a marriage work, because ultimately the man should realise he is nowhere without his wife's support. We have been so moulded by this chauvinistic society that we easily ignore the injustice of it. When we allow men to look down upon us, we also shoot another hole in our self-confidence and ego. This is what stops us from doing anything for the world. We are not incapable of helping society, but we are just so burdened with housework, conscience and lack of confidence or support that we just can't stand by ourselves.

Once again, by allowing our husbands to exploit us, we are showing another sign of our generosity, we are at the same time boosting their ego, to face the dog-eat-dog world. If they at least feel superior to us they can keep their self-confidence intact. But why should we always be the giving ones? We are ready to give but we need at least some appreciation in return, we also need a boost in our confidence. Even so at least our patience proves how magnanimous we are.

The same case occurs before marriage. In arranged marriages, girls are observed like cows during Eid-ul Azha. Men go from one girl to another, inspecting her every detail before making a decision. They never think about what this girl goes through during the inspection until the final verdict. The situation should be turned around immediately, women should choose the men of their liking, and if any man has the audacity to decline, remember it's his loss, he didn't deserve you.

We are expected to be good wives, daughters-in-law, mothers and even good working mothers without even receiving any appreciation. Women actually work 24 hours, if they are at home or at work. When men come back from work they expect to find all the food cooked and the house ready to cool down in. But when women reach home they have to make the house comfortable for themselves and find themselves food to eat. There is no one to offer solace to them when they are doing the same job as their mates. Doesn't that prove the woman to be even physically stronger in spite of her biological limitations? If these attributes don't make us great what does?

I can go on and on and I still wouldn't be able to end the list of things men should be grateful to us for, or I can stop to show mercy on them. Men really need to wisen up and start fighting to be in the same league as us. They have a long way to go and they can start equally contributing to housework. They have to first show their mettle before they can even be in the race again. In the meantime, let's bury the hatchet and admit women are superior. I hope I didn't offend any men by my article, we already agree to being indebted to you -- we just want you to feel the same way about us.