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     Volume 4 Issue 76 | December 23, 2005 |


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Jokes

The 25 Dumbest Thing Bush Said

25. "I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here." at the President's Economic Forum in Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

24. "We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001

23. "We both use Colgate toothpaste." after a reporter asked what he had in common with British Prime Minister Tony Blair, Camp David, Md., Feb. 23, 2001

22. "I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavour for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves." Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003

21. "I'm the commander see, I don't need to explain I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president." as quoted in Bob Woodward's Bush at War

20. "The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorise himself." Grand Rapids, Mich., Jan. 29, 2003

19. "Oh, no, we're not going to have any casualties." discussing the Iraq war with Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson, as quoted by Robertson

18. "I hear there's rumours on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004 (Watch video)

17. "Do you have blacks, too?" to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001

16. "This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating." as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

15. "For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it." Philadelphia, Penn., May 14, 2001

14. "I'm the master of low expectations." aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

13. "I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

12. "The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001

11. "I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

10. "But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me." summing up his first year in office, three months after the 9/11 attacks, Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2001

9. "I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace." Washington, D.C. June 18, 2002

8. "I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job." to a group of Amish he met with privately, July 9, 2004

7. "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed." speaking underneath a "Mission Accomplished" banner aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, May 1, 2003

6. "We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories … And we'll find more weapons as time goes on. But for those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them." Washington, D.C., May 30, 2003

5. "Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere!" President George W. Bush, joking about his administration's failure to find WMDs in Iraq as he narrated a comic slideshow during the Radio & TV Correspondents' Association dinner, Washington, D.C., March 24, 2004

4. "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000

3. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004 (Watch video)

2. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 (Watch video)

1. "My answer is bring them on." on Iraqi insurgents attacking U.S. forces, Washington, D.C., July 3, 2003

 

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