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     Volume 5 Issue 122 | December 1, 2006 |

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Sing the Rap

“Whenever man comes up with a bettermousetrap, nature immediately comes up with a better mouse.”
(Break the coded quotes and sing the rap)


"If you don't like the news, go out and make your own.” That is exactly what our stage show artiste, author of many a drama, host of a crime thriller (2002) and now saddled on a very thorny seat did. He did not exactly go out, but he went in and made his own news.

Lest he should be superseded he
Controlled perhaps by powers that be
Summoned a quick meeting of the sticky three
To 'review' a rehearsed situation after boss took chuti
And then for the best interest of this interesting country
Decided to take over as a pompous acting chee-E-chee
And thereby continue getting share of the halua-ruti
Simultaneously with assuming total authority
To command a force unimagined by his 14 gushti
One wonders who writes a canto, meant to be so pretty
In reality the entire cantonment is saying chee chee chee!
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” But this was just a small group. But then you forget that three is a crowd. So this was being discussed, planned and put to implementation when they sat and sat; they never did anything else. Did any one ever see any one of them on television doing anything but sit contently, and just sit?
There they took the infamous decision
That should (after party-level procrastination)
It become necessary for boss to take (sob!) vacation
It shall be onus on them as remnants in the commission
To act as quickly as possible as time gives permission
To name Maha Fuse as best suitable for the vacant position
To carry out the long-drawn agenda with desired precision
And this must be done with convenient interpretation
Of (oh!) the sacred constitution
Before the boss of bosses imposes a substitution
With someone (chee!) from the civil administration!
“Judge me but keep the verdict to yourself.” This has been their collective attitude ever since the country's focus turned to the quartet for obvious reasons. Since the boss always faced the press, the other three were content with their face being pressed; kuchi kuchi koo! They just sat there around him, laid back, glowing with wisdom because they knew ek jaiga to teen rahega. In other words, ye dosti hum nehi torengay. They also composed this song:
The upcoming elections will be free and fair
Because we already know who will sit in the chair
Har! Har! Har! (chorus)
Such is the extent of our collective power
We are certain no one will even think or dare
To challenge our method of listing, or not, a voter
A voter is a voter, not we differentiate between false and proper
Har! Har! Har! (chorus)
If where angels fear to tread, fools do dare
That will be poking their nose in our internal affair
But boss told us we have an impregnable cover
Joy hallowed sangbidhan. Joy barongbar!
Har! Har! Har! (chorus)
They say we included a crore and several more hazaar
So? No one is a washed tulsi pata in this corrupt bazaar
Happy to say, nor was our boss, neither we are
So what if we are, under-oath, each a commissioner
Har! Har! Har! (chorus)
Of course, in the list are people who have gone forever
We have feelings for the departed, you know my dear
For there is soab in recalling those who will never appear
Except on elections day in a different body and handsome gear
Har! Har! Har! (chorus)

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