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     Volume 5 Issue 122 | December 1, 2006 |

   Cover Story
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   Dhaka Diary
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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I'm a married woman living abroad with my husband. I come to Dhaka once or twice a year and obviously have to divide my time between my own family and my in-laws. They're nice enough, but sometimes they just expect too much of me. I usually comply because I don't want to cause trouble -- my husband also wants his parents to be happy. But sometimes it just gets to be too much. Like recently, I was going through a serious family crisis, yet my in-laws wanted me to carry on with my daily activities which was just not possible for me. I realise that perhaps I should put my foot down at times but I just can't get up the courage to. What should I do and how?
Daughter-in-law in Distress

Dear Daughter In-law,
This is a very common phenomenon. Couples living abroad find it hard to adjust to conflicting demands when they come home. The best way is to explain to your husband and take him in your confidence. If things become too intolerable then you can confront it in a very polite way. There are certain boundaries that everyone has to respect. It is best to let your in-laws know about it. Having said that, try to be flexible since it is only for a few weeks in a year. Once you lay a solid foundation of trust, even in-laws can be nice!

Dear Mita,
I am a computer graphic designer. I'm always working against deadlines, and mine being a creative job, this is difficult. I don't always feel like doing what I've been assigned within a certain date. But my clients obviously expect their work to be done on time. I'm losing interest in my work because of this. I feel very pressurised and just don't feel like working sometimes. What should I do?
Tired of Work

Dear Tired,
You are not the first person who is under work pressure. Many people experience work-related stress and learn to cope somehow. Meeting deadlines is just one of them and most professionals, no matter what they do, have to meet them. You could try to take on assignments that interest you or those you like. Perhaps this could be negotiated with your boss. But don't give up, this phase is temporary and will pass when you go up the ladder.

Dear Mita,
I'm a 25-year-old university student. I'm involved with a man a few years older than me. We love each other very much, but for some reasons, we can't afford to be found out at this point. We plan to get married in a year or two, but right now, we have to be very careful about being seen anywhere in public. But I do want to see him for I miss him a lot. We want to spend time together, but don't know where or how. It gets very difficult at times when I really need to be with him but can't. I used to be in a long distance relationship which was of course even harder because now we can at least talk on the phone more or less whenever we want to. But sometimes it's just not enough and this begins to feel almost like a long distance relationship. What should I do? How can we make the time before we're together forever easier to get through?
Pining Away

Dear Pining,
I really do not have a solution for this. You could try writing to each other but that does not solve your problem. Since I do not know the reason why you cannot be seen with each other, it is difficult for me to advise. Since both of you are adults, it is expected that if you are in love you will see each other. If some people have objections then you should be able to handle this.

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