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Write to Mita

Dear Mita
I am engaged to be married to a very nice, good-looking man. He comes from a very wealthy family. This is why he is not very serious about looking for a job as he gets a hefty allowance from his father who is a businessman. What is really bothering me lately is that my fiance has started drinking very heavily. I knew from the beginning of the relationship that he has a drink or two but now it seems he has to drink every single day. He knows I do not like it but this has not stopped him at all. I am afraid that he is turning into an alcoholic and I am very worried for him. I am also not sure whether it would be a good idea to get married at this point.
Worried Girlfriend

Dear Worried,
Just because he drinks everyday does not mean he will turn into an alcoholic. You have to make sure that he does not drink excessively. However, he is getting into a habit which does not bring about any good, either for him or his relationships. You will have to gently explain to him the bad effects of drinking and how social drinking often turns into excessive and habitual drinking. Having said this, if you really love him then you should be by his side to help him get rid of this habit. Perhaps getting married might sober him up as he will have more responsibilities. At this stage you will have to take a leap of faith and support him as much as possible.

Dear Mita,
I am getting weird calls from a stranger on my mobile. They are all TNT numbers and when I try to call back it keeps on ringing. The caller has a very thick voice and he keeps saying that he knows me and that he can see what I am doing such as going out or coming back from university etc. The other day he called and said he could see me on our roof. That really scared me. The only reason I answer the phone is because I want to keep a record of the numbers. I'm not sure what I should do right now, tell my parents or tell the police. But what if he becomes angry and does something to me. I am very scared.
Scared

Dear Scared
You should tell your parents, an older brother, cousin, uncle or someone. Telling the police is also a good idea and you could file a GD. However, do not expect the police to act and stop this. Making a note of his telephone numbers is also a good idea but apparently he is calling from differently numbers every time. Don't show him that you are scared, most probably this is only a prank. I don't think he will be able to do anything to you but try to be safe such as do not come and go alone after dark etc. just take some general precautions. In no way let this bother you so much that you change your lifestyle.

Dear Mita,
I am a 23-year-old girl and recently I graduated from a private university. My long time boy friend graduated a year earlier and now works in a multinational company. Both my family and boy friend now expect me to work in a multinational company as well. Even though I am a BBA graduate, I hate to say this but I despise the corporate world. I have always loved the arts and spend a lot of time researching on artists instead. It might be very silly on my part to think this way but I dislike the mindset of a corporate employee in Bangladesh - their lifestyle, the way they dress - everything. I have this feeling that all corporate people are snobs and have no soul or a heart within whatsoever. However, being a BBA graduate, I am afraid I just might get stuck with a job in a telecom company or a bank. And if I pursue my love for art, I might end up with no money at all. What can I do get out of this dilemma?
Confused.

Dear Confused,
It is fine if you do not want to be come a part of the corporate world, but you should not have such negative ideas about them. All of them are certainly not snobs nor heartless. About working in a multi national company. If you do not want to then don't . I am sure your parents or your boyfriend will not force you into something that you do not want. But, you have to be sure what is it that you want to do. You seem to be confused, just researching about artists will not open up any career opportunity. Having a BBA degree should not force you into the corporate world, but then you must have a plan of your future which must translate into a career.