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    Volume 8 Issue 96 | November 27, 2009 |

  Cover Story
  Photo Feature
  One Off
  Food for Thought
  Star Diary
  Write to Mita
  Post Script

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I'm a 27-year-old man. I have recently joined a private firm. The work is fine, but the team dynamics are a bit strange. My boss, in her late thirties, really likes me. Some would say a bit too much. I'm a good worker so I can understand the appreciation, but even I think she overdoes it a bit sometimes, giving me many advantages which the others don't enjoy. Needless to say, my colleagues are not happy about this and they range from being sarcastic to outright hostile towards me. For some of the men, it's also the office joke. What can I do in this situation?
Boss's Pet

Dear Pet,
I must say this is a strange situation in which there is little you can do. Try to be as professional as possible, avoid being alone with her or getting into any situation that will lead to gossip, etc. Try other ways to makeup with your colleagues such as going out of your way to be nice to them, helping them in their official work, etc. Remember, all organisations have a natural resistance to new people. Once they realise that you are not deliberately seeking attention of your boss they will start to consider you as one of them.

Dear Mita,
I am a 22-year-old woman. I just do not know how to live in Dhaka city. As soon as I'm out on the street, people stare, comment, even touch when they get a chance and also when they don't. At home, people are always making prank calls, either calling repeatedly and hanging up or else wanting to speak to me and become 'friends' even though I have no idea who they are and I'm not the kind to make friends with people I've never met. It was one thing when I was a teenager, but now it's just too much. How does one survive in this city and culture?

Dear Hounded,
It is a sad fact that young women are yet to feel comfortable and secure in our city But I feel very strongly that the solution does not lie in seclusion but rather in women coming out in the streets in ever greater numbers. Your response should be bold and even aggressive. Men will take advantage of women over whom they can exert power. Never show fear but instead stare back and put them to shame. I am sure you can handle prank telephone calls, just don't answer and they will get the message and stop eventually. Most importantly, don't let this affect you in any negative way. This is a fact of life which has to be handled cleverly. Remember there are as many sensitive, kind and gentle men out there waiting to be discovered.

Dear Mita,
I'm a 31-year-old single man. My parents are pressuring me to get married and, when I think about, I don't want to spend my life all alone either. But no woman has really caught my fancy as yet and I'm not really into meeting them in arranged situations set up by my family. I tend to remain busy with work and have little time or interest to socialise, which almost rules out the option of finding someone myself. How do I find what I'm looking for when I'm not even sure what/who that is or how to go about it?
Single Man

Dear Single Man,
You say you want to get married but have no time to look for a suitable partner. Well, the two will not go together. You will have to give this time as it is a serious matter. Usually people find partners at an earlier age either in college or university. If they don't do that then chances of finding one and falling in love then getting married becomes difficult. For you the best option is to meet women set up by family but with a clear understanding of no commitment till you find the right person. Nowadays women too meet young men in the same way and reject them if they are not suitable. I really don't see any other option except a rare and exceptional chance that you will meet someone accidentally, fall in love at first sight and choose her.

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