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    Volume 9 Issue 26| June 25, 2010|

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a student of Bangladesh University and I have been facing harassment from some of my professors. Before this, I got a job offer where I was asked to do things I was not comfortable with and quit immediately. I was also harassed by one of my in-laws. I dress conservatively, have never been involved in any scandals and am happily married. I don't understand why I am a target of such unwanted and lecherous attention. Please tell me what to do to avoid this.

Dear Annoyed,
It is high time that you took a strong and determined stand against this. The professors who are harassing your should be confronted and exposed. Before you do so discuss it with a friend or a female professor. Be sure of your facts, don't be afraid and state your case in a clear and direct manner. These kinds of people take advantage of social norms that prevents women from coming forward to complain. They hide behind your sense of dignity, privacy and embarrassment. However, sexual harassment is a form of violence and should not be tolerated nor condoned. Recently a lot of awareness has been created on these issues, and you should get in touch with groups who are working on this.

Dear Mita,
I am a second year student at a public university and I am having trouble concentrating on my studies. I cannot read for too long without getting distracted and because of this, I have been performing poorly in my exams. My friends and professors have started thinking of me as a failure and I don't know how to make the situation right. Please help.

Dear Procrastinator,
Lack of concentration can be a result of a number of things, the most significant one may be your mind is distracted with something else. I do not have a remedy for this but you must start to think about the implication of not doing well in your exams and what this might lead to. Perhaps you are not interested in the subjects you are studying which should be looked into also. Most importantly, only you can get out of this situation by believing in yourself, that you can change the situation and show everyone that you are not a failure after all.

Dear Mita,
My parents have been trying to get me married off since I was 23. The older I get the more paranoid they become about my future. But I am not ready for marriage. I love being single and only having to think about myself. I love being able to what I want when I want without any restrictions. I love that I can live in any country I want and work only to support myself without having to worry about a family. Does that make me strange? I'm not against marriage, just not ready for it right now. My parents don't understand and this is making it difficult for me to live with them. Please tell me how I can make them see things my way.
Free Spirit.

Dear Free Spirit,
You are very much within your right to decide when and to whom you will get married. Marriage is a very serious business and cannot be done just to please anyone. On the other hand you must also appreciate your parents concern, which is to make sure that their children are settled and happy in life. You must make a greater effort to explain to your parents the reasons why you don't want to get married now, but that this will eventually happen. In the meantime prove to them that by not getting married you are no less a person in terms of independence or security.

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