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RS mailbox Reply to “Are uniforms really necessary?”
A few weeks ago Mr. Efad pointed out a question which has been bugging me ever since I was stripped off my nursery clothes and forced to wear a little brown bow-tie and full-sleeved shirt. I can't help thinking about the fact whether the mundane and insignificant life I lead now, could have been entirely different if I wasn't forced to wear those stupid school uniforms. You see once upon a time, I was a very creative dude but in a twist of epic tragedy I lost my wonderful gift when I went through that horrible transformation of uniformization!

In nursery, I used to create art that made my teachers cry (in joy). They smiled at my regal brilliance, they gushed at my artistic elegance. They used to say that one day I would become Salvador Dali or perhaps Picasso or after looking at my amazing clay-putty recreation of my father's beat up Toyota Publica, they said I could become Michelangelo if I wanted to! And the amazing part was, that recreation of that Publica didn't even look like a Publica! So great was my artistic talent, that I could create form without even creating it! But now, after uniformization, I have lost that wonderful gift! I look at the horrible drawings on my table and my even more horrible Art Grade; I realize I am not the artist I once was. So I say ' down with uniforms' let kids be FREEE!

But then I think again about what schools would be like if there were no uniforms. How would the girls dress up like? Ooh…that's a nice thought, given the number of rich snobbish girls we have in our school, just waiting for a chance to impress those idiotic hollow-headed football players. Boy, it will sure be an eye-candy watching those chicks in their full flicks! I can just imagine my principal gouging her eye out when she sees what Marzia wears to school tomorrow, if its even 1/10 th of what she wore to that concert! I am pretty sure Marzia will be a great fashion designer when she grows up!

But wait, guys would start dressing up 'cool' too to impress those chicks in full flicks. That would mean that the few minuscule number of girls who actually paid attention to me would start ignoring me. My fashion sense is not nearly as cool and I refuse to dress myself up as a hooligan with half of my underwear hanging out like a wizards robe. But all the chicks… Man, anti-uniformization would suck!

It's not only the chicks that would start dissing the nice guys with no fashion sense. The teachers might also jump in the bandwagon. I certainly know that greedy old math teacher would start licking the boots of those kids who wears new shiny Nikes to school everyday. He might even not let me be the class prefect anymore! He might choose those well-dressed hollow-headed football players instead! Man, anti-uniformization would suck!

However there are some good points that I forgot to mention. My clothes will never become dirty if I don't wear uniforms! Heck…yeah that's cool! No longer would I have to worry about keeping my own clothes clean! I could focus on important stuff like looking at that hot chick and trying to hit on her, instead of worrying about whether there is a stain on my brilliantly white school t-shirt. Heck, I could even play games without worrying about keeping my clothes clean! Then my mom would never have to bother about cleaning clothes too! She can be free too! FREEE! Wait, she can just use a washing machine instead. Or perhaps she can buy another pair of shirt and then she wouldn't have to clean clothes everyday. But, oh wait, I forgot. Uniforms are horribly expensive in Bangladesh. I am sure it will burn a hole in most parent's wallet. It makes much more economic sense to go to Ecstacy every week and buy a new pair of jhuki-muki shirts!

Mr. Efad I got to hand it to you. You did make me think a lot about this deep and complex issue, pervading the fabrics of our society! Your article was amazingly well researched and the interviews you used bought a wonderful degree of realism in that article. I could almost feel the pain of that poor ugly black girl as she talked about the woes of mismatching colour contrasts! So sad… Keep writing dude! You rock!


The everyday Life of a Fakir

One fine romantic morning, I was talking to my beloved and asked her to send me a few photos of her. She replied that she could not, as she was not a green plant. My obvious next query was, “Why on Earth do you need to be a green plant to send photos?” Her reply was, “Because the synthesis of photos requires photosynthesis.”

New Year is a time of joy, excitement and resolutions. Everyone has their unique blend of resolutions based on their problems. Like say, a studious child would want to get A's in his/her exams, or a politician might want to stop saying lies (hahahaha!). My friend complains of being called 'poo' for the past two years of her life. Consequently her resolution was that her little niece would stop calling her 'pu pu' actually start calling her 'fuppu' instead.

My American friend's little brother is 4 years old and I tend to teach him a taste of Bengali. Mistakenly, another friend of mine (while galafying the cold weather) screamed out 'sworer bacha' in front of the kid. Curious little cuddle as he is, he instantly asks what it means. I told him the truth that it means a baby pig. I did not realize that baby pigs are so popular in America; also as their family are farmers. Now, whenever he sees a baby pig, he screams out 'Sworer Bacha!' And their neighbors are from Bangladesh.

My mom is an exciting, cute, adorable little thing. Like for example, whenever we used to ride through the Mohakhali flyover she used to scream, “Amra flyover diye fly kortesi!” Anyways, she is a medical doctor and is also technologically challenged. So this one day, the current goes and I find my mom screaming out my name and saying that the computer is dying. I ran to my room only to find that my newly installed UPS was going “Beep, beep, beep…”

This really close friend of mine is obsessed of the word hagu. And God gave us the indications from when she was small. When she was still tiny and growing, one day her father was asking her the English alphabets and subsequent words… A for apple! B for ball! to G for gun!... and when it finally came to H, she had this huge smile in her face (as per her parents) and screamed out H for hagu! Her parents had a tough time making her realize that H is not for hagu, but the letter 'ho' in Bangla alphabets is.

By Adnan M. S. Fakir

Cool adda…

The Principal's Office:
* How to get there: - This is probably one of the easiest things in the world for some people to do, particularly those who can't seem to stay out of trouble and whose hands start to itch when 'nothing' is going on. For those of you who are the 'goody-goodies' make your imagination go wild and do the most daring thing you can think of. Like 'accidentally' breaking the princi's window with a cricket ball, stealing the hubcaps from his car wheels or getting caught while putting the manhole cover back on one of the weaker, unsuspecting teachers who went down there to look for your 'lost' pretend cat.

* What to do once there: - Once you're in, you shouldn't have any worries. Try to rope in a couple of your friends as well with you so you can have a good time. My advice is to get in for doing something trivial, like getting caught cheating on one of your mocks and then letting things rip like inducing one of your other friends to mess with the school water system so that water starts squirting out of unseen places. The principal will now be forced to move his/her butt out of that air conditioned room to see what's going on. Another idea is to position small, shrill fireworks (the ones that you hear going off when Eid is announced) at strategic places around the school. Boy, will there be real fireworks after that!

* Pros: - Once the Princi's out of his office, you're in the clear. The main advantage of addafying here is that no one is likely to disturb you. Everyone will probably be where all the commotion is and forget that there is anyone in the office. So put your feet up on his table, turn the AC on high and relax. Treat it like your own space. Make a few prank calls. Rummage through the desks and you may end up finding surprising things. Maybe that exam paper you hadn't studied a thing for will be lying innocently in one of the desks…can you help it if you can't contain your curiosity?

* Cons: - The worst case scenario would of course be if someone happens to come in. However you could always lock the door and pretend that it is jammed to prevent this from happening.

If you don't want to get caught messing in the office though, it's better if you and your friends keep an ear and eye out for what is going on outside. As soon as you think things are subsiding, just slip out. It's likely the Princi will be too perturbed to remember you were there and even if he does, you can always say you didn't know you were supposed to stay back and were instead trying to be helpful by investigating who the culprit behind the fireworks could be. And what about the mess in his office? Well the window was open wasn't it?

By Nisma Elias

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations (and the answers you could give)

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are you doing here?

Don't you know? I sell tickets back over here…

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?

No, not at all, I'm on local anaesthesia.....why don't you try again?

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people asks...
Stupid Question:-
Why?! Why?! Why him, of all people?

Why? Would you rather it'd have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter…
Stupid Question:-
Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good?

No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:-
Babu, you've become so big!

Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding date, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you're marrying nice?

No, he's a miserable, wife-beating, insensitive boor...it's just for the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry. Were you sleeping?

No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. And you thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:-
Hey have you had a haircut?

No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts.

No, I wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:-
Oh, so you smoke.

Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

Compiled by Nisma Elias

News clip

In an effort to popularise astronomy in Bangladesh, Alliance Francaise and the Bangladesh Astronomical Association are jointly organizing the 13th National Astronomy Workshop. Professor Dr. Abu Abdullah Ziauddin Ahmed (Physics Department, BRAC University and Ex-Chairman, SPARSO) will conduct the workshop.

Topics to be covered in the workshop include the Theory of the creation of the Universe, the Fate of the Universe, the Solar System, Life in the Universe, Planetary Evolution and others in a total of ten sessions.

Dr. A.R. Khan, Dr. Rezaur Rahman, Dr. Ali Asgar, Inam-al Huq, Dr. Mofizuddin Ahmed and Engineer Sukalyan Bachar are expected to speak at the workshops.

A total of ten classes, held every Saturday from Jan 13 to Mar 17 from 5 PM to 8 PM.

Interested individuals are requested to apply with 2 copies of their photographs.

Birds and the bees

Donald Ogden Stewart, the writer, had a son away at prep school. When the boy reached the age of fourteen, Stewart wrote him the following letter: "Dear son, now that you

have reached the magic age of fourteen, the time has come to tell you about the bees and flowers. There is a male and a female bee, although I haven't the slightest idea which is which. As for the flowers - we get ours from the Plaza Florist, Inc. Well, that takes care of that.
Write soon, Affectionately,


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