Fraudulence an art of deception!

A characteristic humans share with many other living things is their ability to deceive. For example, did you know there are many orchids that that mimic the appearance of a female bee? They even release a scent that resembles a female pheromone, which acts as a sexual attractant to a male bee! In this way male bees contribute to the pollination of orchids.

However, it is the methods and reasons humans deceive that set them apart from other species. Let us take a look at some instances where humans demonstrate their skills at the art of deception:

§ A friend of mine was at a bookstore, when he saw two different books he really wanted to read. You'd expect him to either decide to buy one, or to buy both, but my friend had a different plan. He bought one; and he spent the next day reading through the entire book. He then returned to the bookstore, and told the shopkeeper that he had bought the wrong book, and asked for a replacement. The shopkeeper agreed, and replaced that book with the other book he wanted to buy! So my friend got to read both the books for the price of one!

§ A great number of fakirs in our country are master fraudsters too. Recently, many fakirs have been wandering around carrying fake prescriptions, claiming they need help for cure of illnesses.

Once a fakir turned up at our local mosque with his mouth and panjabi smeared with what horribly looked like blood, claiming he had a mouth disease. However, on closer inspection by the local Masjid Committee, it was proven not to be blood, but simply paint.

And it will not be soon before I forget the fakir in sunglasses (crying out that he was blind) who jumped nimbly out of the way to avoid the rickshaw that was rushing straight towards him.

§ Two government service officers A and B (wishing to remain anonymous) were working at the airport. B had done A a number of favours. A wished to return the favours by tipping him an amount of Tk.300 in cash. However, at that time A and B worked in different shifts. So A decided to pass on the money through one of the airport staff.

A few days later, A and B somehow met. A asked B if he had received the Tk.300 that he had given him. B replied that he had received the money, but only Tk.100.

A, of course, paid the other Tk.200 immediately to B. But the question is: where did the previous Tk.200 go? Did B lie so that he could get Tk.200 extra? Or did the airport staff simply keep it themselves?

§ The art of deception is used especially by pickpockets and robbers. A common method a pickpocket might use is to walk beside you and suddenly drop something. As you (being a kind soul) bend down to pick it up, the pickpocket removes whatever is in your back pocket! Pickpockets tend to strike in busy streets, where they can hide among the crowd.

Thieves can also strike at your home where there is no place to hide! All a thief needs to do is turn up at your house claiming to be a gas or an electric inspector! This is exactly what happened once at my house. This man suddenly turned up in the middle of an interesting cricket match. Too interested in the match, I showed the man the way to the electric meter, and returned to the TV. It was only a few hours after he left that I realised the clock and my Mum's decorative egg-cups were missing from the nearby mantelpiece!

§ One of the biggest frauds in history is that of Cassie Chadwick, who somehow managed to prove she was Andrew Carnegie's illegitimate daughter! This happened around the 1900s. Using this identity, various banks offered Cassie Chadwick loans, assuming that Carnegie would vouch for any debt. However, her scheme collapsed when Boston Bank sued her over a huge loan.

Further investigation showed that she at that time had an accumulated debt of $5 million. When Carnegie was later asked about her, he denied ever knowing her. She was eventually arrested and sentenced to a $70,000 fine and 14 years in prison.

In all the instances above, you can see that the art of deception is practiced for only one reason: for personal gain. The only exception is the example of the orchid and bees. That is why the example of orchid and bees is merely a method of pollination, while the other examples are called frauds.

By Iftikhar Azam

The Jotil, The Kothin… and The Paankha!

As a third person commentator, uninfluenced yet inspired, I have decided to put my own two cents into the ever growing debatable topic of dVocabulary, or dJargon, maybe dBhasha… take your pick. Unlike most people, I'm not speaking up against this trend. Djuice isn't only a cellular operator aimed at the youth. It's a lifestyle (dDuniya)!

While some may disagree with this lifestyle, and 'some' here means the majority, it was inevitable. There are such things as slang, jargon, dialect, accent etc. Without them a language is not complete. So just because I'm writing this article with such 'kothin' support, it does not mean I support the butchering of our mother tongue, because nothing is getting butchered here. The question should not even arise. I may not agree with the jargon but I will defend to death everyone's right to use it!

Of course, I can imagine how the older generation would feel about our colourful new vocabulary. They have well enough reasons too. I personally know of a certain someone who ended up describing his best friend in a Bengali essay as 'jotil paankha'! However, ye old people, if you look closely on the matter, very few youngsters would commit such heinous linguistic crimes upon their exam essays. We're not dumb you know we do share your genes.

Linguistic evolution is inevitable. Just because we speak like this now does not mean we will in the years to come, there will be a new trend, a new fashion, a different vogue. “Fashion is a thing so insufferable we need to change it every six months”. And when that happens, there will be even more ardent protests against it. No one has the right to stop the protests, but no one has the right to stop us from painting our language to better suit our palette.

Now, to clear up the misconception: let me clarify here that there is no one, or at least I don't know of anyone, that uses the dBhasha seriously. It's more like an inside joke amongst the Bangladeshi teenagers. Hence the ensuing laughter whenever someone speaks like that.

On a more personal note, I have myself often been perplexed at phrases like 'jotil paankha'… correct me if I'm wrong, but are we calling a person a 'complicated fan'? Comparing a human being with an inanimate object? What is this, reverse personification? Now that may just have been an amazing grammar discovery! And we have the dBhasha to thank for it.

The lifestyle I pertained to earlier… djuice has organized music events, charity events, musical charity events… now they are arranging music scholarships. They near well collaborate with every kind of youth related program there is. However, I can't help but think about what they have accomplished. How is it possible for one organization to sway the majority of the youth of an entire nation? Now they get free advertisement from every jotil-speaker. It's a tremendous achievement. Kudos to whomever wears the pants over at Djuice.

What I've tried to establish here is this: the lifestyle is not necessarily bad, neither is the innovative language. Djuice is not evil! The protests have a right to be made. It seems like I have not come to a firm decision. I'm just so confused, I personally don't agree with taking the dBhasha seriously. But I love it when they say things like chorom mood and kothin bhaab about me!

By Ahsan Sajid

Life Over A Cup of Chocolate

Most of you wouldn't believe me if I say that a hot chocolate drink bears an uncanny resemblance to life(besides being delicious, of course). How so? Allow me.

See the foamy froth fizzing at the top? That is the essence of life-energy and enthusiasm are must-have qualities if one is to reach full potential. The creamy, rich part of the drink represents enjoyment and success- things we think we can never have enough of; but if there is an overdose of it, it becomes tiring, just like a stretched life of nothingness.

An attempt to finish it all in one go will only result in getting your tongue burned, just as hurrying through life's tasks will never lend a taste of glory. The tasteless blobs of undissolved milk that suddenly float over symbolize obstacles and miseries encountered, leaving you with a bad taste in the mouth.

Just as too much sugar or chocolate spoils the blend of the perfect drink, too many material possessions wreck life. As the taste of the last drops of chocolate fade over, like the time one is nearing death, there is a thirst for more, not to be quenched.

We can only enjoy the show (and the chocolate) till it lasts, cherishing every moment till the last drop.

By Anika Tabassum

Words, Phrases and Stupid People

Have you ever come across words and phrases used by stupid people? Of course you have, because I have too. Therefore I decided to take the time and liberty to compile this pile of rubbish and make sure you get my point.

“Yes and No”- “Did you read my article?” I asked a friend. “Yes and no.” he replied. I never heard what else he had to say and I probably never will. What is yes and no? I mean when I ask you a one word answer I expect to get one, either a yes or a no. When you put it together all I hear is a pile of crap. It's almost as if someone asks me if the country is doing the right thing and I reply with “If and But.” I mean come on, you don't know means you don't know and no matter how much more stupidity you can come up with it will not enhance your intelligence, now will it? Answer yes and no, you moron!

“Faux Pas” “Did you notice what he was wearing? That's a faux pas!” My girl-friend once commented on one of my friends. I never got to hear the end of it. I mean why can't people just say something simply. Faux Pas? It sounds like a bear calling his “Papa” with his mouth full of sausages. Seriously!

“A journey of a thousand miles must begin with one step” Really? And all this time I thought I could just jump all thousand miles away. By the way, who would really care about a thousand miles journey anyway? Will stupidity never cease?

“ The truth shall set you free”- Its good to hear when someone who knows what he is saying says it but when regular losers start saying that, it really gets annoying. “I didn't do my homework! What should I do?” “Confess! The truth shall set you free!” So will an expulsion but I am not looking forward to it either! Try saying that to a convict, sentenced for life after he admitted attempting to kill a jobless preacher who gave everyone an overdose of phrases and dumb words. We'll see how that goes.

And here I conclude my report and I hope you get my point. Get my point….another stupid phrase!

By Osama Rahman