Dear
Mita,
I'm 27 and working for a software development firm. I tutor
a boy whose family I have come to know well and for whose
elder sister I have grown a weakness. I told her about it
but she did not respond for a long time. Later, I went to
her university (she's in her 5th semester, Economics) and
told her I wanted to marry her. She told me that it would
depend on her parents and that if I propose to her they
might think we already have a relationship which they would
not like. The problem is, her surname is Chowdhury and I
don't have any such renowned name or connections though
I have inherited a lot of property from my father. Her father
is a government employee. What if my proposal is rejected
because of this? Should I continue to tutor her brother
or stop? Should I send a proposal to her family? Please
help.
--P
Dear
P,
You should at least get some commitment
from the girl before proposing. She does not seem very interested
in the relationship. Regarding the name of Chowdhury, I
do not see how that matters. If you are established enough
and able to support a family and if the girl is willing,
then I do not see any problem. If this is going to be an
arranged marriage then you should seek the help of your
family. It will be proper if they propose rather than you.
Dear
Mita,
I am a 24-year-old student of CU. A year ago, I was travelling
by train from Dhaka to Chittagong. I was seated next to
a girl from the English Department at JU. We talked about
many things, including love. We started a relationship which
has continued and we have become very intimate now. She
wants me to marry her but I can't do that before finishing
my studies. She's crazy about me and says that if I don't
marry her she will commit suicide. What should I do now?
--Pessimist
Dear
Pessimist,
I find it very difficult to believe
that she is not willing to wait until you get your basic
degree. You must try to convince her that completing basic
education for both of you is important for your future.
You should not think of marriage before you are both prepared
to take responsibility and are independent. She is immature
and somebody should talk to her. Regarding suicide, well,
this is just a threat and should not be taken too seriously.
Dear
Mita,
I am an Honours final year student in love with a girl in
Class 10. The girl's family knows about our affair. But
they are about to leave Chittagong (where I live) as her
father has been transferred to Dhaka. The girl I like has
to move with her parents. What should I do in the days to
come?
--Wretched Man
Dear
Wretched Man,
Well, if you have an affair with a girl of Class 10
then this is what you will get. She will certainly have
to move to wherever her parents are going as she is not
mature or old enough to stay back all by herself. I have
often advised young men to refrain from having relationships
with such young girls. This relationship cannot be very
satisfying as there is a vast difference in maturity and
understanding. However, this is your decision and I do not
think I can help you
|