<%-- Page Title--%> Write to Mita <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 147 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

April 2, 2004

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Dear Mita,
I am 20 years old and a first year student of Geography at DU. Recently I am facing a serious problem. One of my cousins has confessed his love for me. Because he is younger than me, I rejected his proposal without delay. The problem is that now he cannot think about anything but me. He writes to me all the time, but I do not write back. Under these circumstances my normal life and studies are being hampered because I cannot reach a decision. How can I get out of this position?

Dear Problem,
You have rejected his proposal for valid reasons and should stick to it. He needs to grow up and understand that he cannot change your mind just by being persistent. Getting involved with cousins is not a good idea in the first place, moreover he seems like an immature person and will not be the right person for you. You might want to talk with him seriously and explain gently but firmly that this will not work. You should not allow this to hamper your studies because you have already made a decision. What you need to do now is stick to it.

Dear Mita,
I am a twenty-two year old Honours student. One day I saw a young beautiful girl and I fell in love with her. After thirteen days I approached her and asked her to hear me out. She agreed. She had already guessed what I was going to say. When I professed my love for her she did not refuse my offer. She told me that she likes me very much and may even love me. However, while we were talking her older sister began walking towards us and so she had to leave quickly. We did not have time to exchange phone numbers or addresses. Many days have passed now and although she does not know anything about me, and me about her, I think she would agree to meet me and write to me. How can i find her again?
Lost Love

Dear Lost,
Meeting a beautiful girl for a few minutes is hardly a basis for any serious involvement . Moreover, if she is really interested then she will try to find you somehow. I should, however caution you that this might lead to nothing and you should not spend too much time and energy behind this. You are 22 and should start to think of more matured and lasting relationships. Falling in love requires more than a fleeting look or a short conversation on the wayside.

Dear Mita,
I'm doing my MBA in a public university. For the last seven years I have never had any love interest. Recently however, I met a girl who changed all of that. Now I find that I cannot stop thinking about this girl and cannot even speak to her. I think she knows that I feel this way, and I know that if I proposed my love to her she would agree. The problem is that she is a non-Muslim. I am the only son of my mother, (my father died 12 years ago) and so my mother's contribution in my life is more than usual. She has dreams that she wants me to pursue. I know that if I marry a non-Muslim, it will completely break her heart. I believe that if i go through with this my mother with inadvertently curse the relationship because I disobeyed her. However I cannot forget this girl. What can I do?

Dear Torn,
Relationships between people of different religions is always difficult and needs a lot of commitment from both sides. From what you say it seems that you have not even approached her. It is too early to decide whether you want to make her you life partner.
Regarding you mother, she obviously has dreams and is pinning a lot of hope on you to fulfill those. Under these circumstances, whatever step you take will have very serious consequences on you relationship with her. Please approach this very carefully. Think through every action and the implication this might have on your future. Eventually if you do decide to go ahead then you will just have to convince your mother and the rest of the world that this is the most appropriate girl for you.


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