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to Mita Dear
Mita,
I am a student of SUST. I'm facing a problem regarding debt.
Those who lent me the money are not asking for it back, so
I don't feel pressure from them. But I still feel ashamed.
I can pay back some of the money now, but the English medium
curriculum I'm studying in is really difficult and I wanted
to take a short English language course to help me for which
I'll need the money. I'm in a dilemma between wanting to do
well in school and being free from debt and shame. What should
I do?
--R
Dear
R,
There is no shame if you tell those who have lent you the
reason why you cannot repay them now. The important thing
to remember is that you must repay the debt as soon as you
are able. If you continue to be in debt for a good reason
then you should not feel guilty about it. You should certainly
take the English language course; hopefully this will help
you to pay off your loan quickly.
Dear
Mita,
I am a 17-year-old girl and the daughter of two working parents.
Both my father and my mother are ambitious about my future
and are overprotective. They trust me a lot and count on me
to do well in my studies. I love my parents and will do anything
they want me to. But it is hard for me to live up to my parents'
expectations. For instance, my parents do not understand that
like all girls my age, I might be interested in having boys
as friends. They don't allow me any privacy. They want to
know who I'm talking to on the phone and even what I'm talking
about word for word. I am never allowed to go anywhere with
my friends. And there's no use talking to them about it because
they'll take me for a rebellious daughter and rebuke me even
more. I am not complaining but everybody wants some freedom
once in a while, don't they? If you were me, what would you
have done?
--M
Dear
M,
You are right, everyone needs some freedom and a little privacy
and you are certainly entitled to it. However, remember, parents
are over protective because they love their daughters and
worry about their security. The way they express is not right
but their intention is not bad. You must try to communicate
with them, especially your mother who might be more understanding
of your needs. You do not have to rebel to convey a point.
This can be done through negotiation and discussion. You can
also prove to them in different ways how responsible and mature
you are and they will start to trust you gradually. I know
being a teenager is tough but parents do want the best for
you.
Dear
Mita,
I'm a final year student of DU. I love one of my friends.
He is actually my best friend. He loves me too. But he is
of a different religion and my family won't consider this.
My parents are looking for a suitable bridegroom for me and
I am going to marry whoever they want me to because I don't
want to cause them the mental strain while they're also physically
not very fit. I told my friend about this and he agreed with
me, but I know how difficult it must be for him. Have I made
the right decision or am I cheating anyone?
--R
Dear
R,
I do not know how old you are but it seems you have made a
decision taking everything into consideration. Since you have
already made the decision it is not very constructive to think
about the negative consequences. Apparently the love between
you both was not very strong and you have decided to break
it off. Perhaps you have made the right decision. Just remember,
marriage is a very serious business and it is better not to
plunge into it just because your parents want you to. You
have the right to choose and you should take your time to
do so.
Copyright (R)
thedailystar.net 2004
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