Jokes

A Question of Answers

Generous lawyer

A local human rights organisation realised that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least Tk 50 lakh and you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the representative of the organisation mumbled, "Um ... no."
The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

Lines to live by

*Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
*One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
*One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
*To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
*Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
*The older you get, the better you realise you were.
*I doubt, therefore I might be.
*Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
*Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
*Women like silent, they think they're listening.
*Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
*Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
*A fool and his money are soon partying.

Pinching

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Mohiuddin became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous young woman.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the woman suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Mohiuddin, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Mohiuddin was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I . . . I didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't," replied his wife, consolingly. "I did."

Source: Jokesgalore.com, Coolfunnyjokes.com and Jokesgallery.com

Copyright (R) thedailystar.net 2005