Write to Mita
Dear
Mita,
I am 21 and studying at a reputed university. I have a 22-year-old
boyfriend studying at the same university. We have been
engaged for six months. I have learned from him that he
does not want me to make friends, even at university. He
does not want me to go out as he thinks grown-up girls are
meant to stay at home. He doesn't like me when I talk to
my cousins or anyone else. He always doubts me and everything
I do. My world is getting smaller due to this. I was in
a three-month relationship four years ago. I have forgotten
all about it but my boyfriend is always talking about my
ex-boyfriend. He can't forgive or forget my past. I want
to marry him after three years. Am I making the right decision?
Worried
Dear
Worried,
I am afraid you are not making the right decision. Suspicion
is like a disease and unless confronted right away tends
to destroy relationships. You must be very sure of how much
you want and love this person. If your life is restricted
now, it will be more so in future. This will give rise to
resentment and ultimate unhappiness. You should have a frank
talk with your fiancé right away and explain your
expectations from the relationship. My advice is that however
painful it might be now, you should rethink this while there
is still time and if need be, break it off.
Dear
Mita,
I am a third year economics student of Dhaka University.
I have many problems and feel like I am on the brink of
ruin. I can't mix with people, not even my classmates. Sometimes
I feel determined about doing something but then I neglect
it. I can't express my feelings to others. All I feel is
uncertainty and frustration. Please help me to overcome
my problems and work towards a bright future.
Lost
Dear
Lost,
If you are a student of economics at DU then you must be
very bright and intelligent. I think that you are just going
through a difficult phase and will get over it soon. Try
to confide in a friend, cousin or even your siblings. Analyse
the root causes of your present state of mind, for example
when did this start, what caused it and what has been the
consequence. Since you have identified and recognised the
problem, the solution will not be too far away. You need
to build up your self-image and self-confidence and the
way to do this is by showing determination that you can
do it.
Dear
Mita,
I am a highly-skilled photographer with a degree from the
Paris Photographic Institute. In the course of my free lance
endeavours I accidentally stumbled upon what strongly resembles
a love cult consisting mainly of several prominent affluent
members of Dhaka's "Tinseltown". Aside from being
involved in making rather distasteful movies, these individuals
have perpetrated perverted sexual rituals which go against
the moral backbone of our society. Some of these obscene
acts are punishable by the law of the land. I am in a moral
dilemma as to whether these photographsought to be published,
hence exposing this terrible degeneration of oursociety,
or should I protect the individuals' families who would
be devastated? If I decide to expose these degenerates,
how would the public react to their favourite actresses
(the ones considerably over any weight limit a rational
person would set for a dancer) violently gyrating with unmentionable
props?
Troubled Photographer
Dear
Troubled Photographer,
I will try to give advice though I honestly do not think
this is a letter for Mita. In going public with any information
please make sure that the rights of all parties are protected.
This means that you have to contact those whose obscene
acts you have discovered. Remember, even the accused deserve
a chance to defend themselves. Please take legal counsel
before you take any steps.
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