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     Volume 4 Issue 52 | June 24, 2005 |


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Jokes

Funny adds

Real advertisements:
*A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetising forms.
*Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
*For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
*Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
*Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
*Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
*We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand

True marketing errors:
*Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick".
*Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.
*When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read English.
*An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).
*Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave," in Chinese.
*When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to say "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." However, the company mistakenly thought the spanish word "embarazar" meant embarrass. Instead the ads said that "It wont leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."
*The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."
*Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off."
*When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America, it was apparently unaware that "no va" means "it won't go." After the company figured out why it wasn't selling any cars, it renamed the car in its Spanish markets to the Caribe.
*Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.

Real news headlines:
*Include your Children when Baking Cookies
*Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
*Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
*Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
*Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
*Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Signs and notices:
*At a car dealership in Maryland to announce new seat belt legislation: "Belt your family. It's the law."
*At an Applebee's restaurant: "NOTICE: AFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY! A new 6% tax will be charged for the cost of collecting taxes!"
*Fitness Centre sign: "Self Esteem is feeling good about yourself -- regardless of the facts."
*In restaurant: "Open seven days a week and weekends."
*On the freeway in Boston during a MAJOR transformation of the streets and bridges, etc: "Rome wasn't built in a day. If it was we would have hired their contractor."
*A sign in front of an advertising agency in south superhighway, Philippines: "A BUSINESS WITH NO SIGN IS A SIGN OF NO BUSINESS"

Source: www.ahajokes.com

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