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     Volume 4 Issue 52 | June 24, 2005 |

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On "Going Bride Shopping"
To the "Yet Another victim"-- you need to learn to deal with life. There are norms in this life and in the society. Before accepting anything, it is every individual's right to examine and evaluate. When it comes to the matter of choosing a life partner, seeing and evaluating is more important than anything. Breaking off after marriage or a marriage without love and bond is much worse than not getting married in the first place. We all have experienced similar incidents more or less in our lives. If you have a hard time dealing with a simple and normal incident in life such as the one you described, you will have an even harder time dealing with bigger incidents.
WJ Abdun St. Paul, Minnesota

Good Issue
I am writing to congratulate you on a number of interesting articles you have published recently, and to salute the magazine editor and her team for their tireless effort in turning out a quality product week after week - it can't be an easy job!
I have been particularly moved by the recent item in Dhaka Diary (June 10) by the young woman who has been the latest - and undoubtedly, not the last - victim of the mania for "bride-shopping" that afflicts our society. The recent fiction piece penned by Zeynab, also illustrates some of the sad consequences of the life that follows a "successful" bride-shopping experience.
The cruel, derogatory and dismissive attitudes towards women prevalent in our society are amply illustrated in these experiences. But if any further example were required, one has only to look at the outrageous and unlawful treatment being meted out to Bidisha (the ex-wife of H M Ershad), whose primary crime has been to be on the wrong side of the political divide, and the target of a vengeful ex-husband. Whatever her supposed crimes, they must be addressed through a lawful and appropriate process, not the "shotgun" approach that is currently being followed.The fact that this can happen in Bangladesh in the 21st century beautifully illustrates the utter hollowness of the democratic credentials our government is so fond of trumpeting from the rooftops! It's not surprising they don't manage to convince anyone.
Excuse me while I laugh at the farce we are unwilling spectators to. If I don't, I won't be able to stop crying...
Eeshita Rahman On Email

Is Education the Answer?
I would like to thank Iffat Tarannum for reading my letter published on May 20 although unfortunately, I feel that she only focused on one line and was completely dismissive about the others. In your opinion, education is not the main theme for perishing gender discrimination. What then is the definition of education? Is it only about going to school and attaining degrees? I feel that education also develops an individual's mind-frame and mentality. It teaches us how to show proper respect to others and it raises common sense in order to create a peaceful environment in society. When somebody is properly educated, he is able to apply his education into taking others as human beings, regardless of their gender. Also, education is the major weapon, which can lessen gender discrimination. You mentioned the courage of women but how can a woman be brave if she is not educated and is under the impression that after divorcing her husband, she won't be unable to get a job in order to earn her living? You also focused on the gender discrimination in educated families. However, I urge you to realise that these incidents are comparably much lower than uneducated families. These incidents get more coverage because these are exceptions and I am going to reassure Tarannum that, taking exceptions as examples is not realistic. You mentioned the poor, uneducated fathers who send their female children to schools but statistics prove that the number is still relevantly lower than educated families.
Shoaib M. Siddiqui Dhaka City College

State of Medical Treatment in Bangladesh
We all know that Bangladesh is not a popular place for medical treatment. Most of our ailing citizens go abroad, mostly to India, Singapore and Bangkok for further treatment after a disease has been diagnosed. The main problems diagnosed are for cardiac (heart diseases), nephrological (kidney related), neurological and for oncological (cancer) treatment. Despite higher costs, which include travel and lodging expenses, our countrymen seem to lay their trust more on medical treatment abroad. Recently, I responded to an advertisement of a new hospital that claimed to have brought a non-evasive, hassle free CT Angiogram system for those who need to properly diagnose their coronary diseases. My father and I called for an appointment for my mother and we were given an appointment for CT Angiogram. Everything was according to schedule until they took my mother for canola (incision for inserting chemical dye) incision. At first, the nurses bruised her right hand looking for a vein, having failed they called in a doctor and although he successfully inserted the canola, my mother started shivering instantly. The doctor kept on assuring her that it was her nervousness and there was nothing wrong. But after a while she had to be placed in the emergency observation, as they weren't able to complete the test (let alone find any reason for her discomfort). We later learned that either incorrect saline administration or non-sterilised solutions could have been the cause. This was something really unexpected for us! What was really amazing was that not one member from the hospital approached us to apologise about the matter. It seemed that the management wasn't even aware that such an incident ever took place. Being a new hospital, if their start is so shaky, I dare to think what could happen in the future. Will there never be any accountability?
Faisal Khair Chowdhury (Bobee) Gulshan-2

A Mother's Love
As I was going through the article "A Mother's Letter"(June 10, SWM), I was greatly moved. After finishing the letter I felt happy to have a mother still alive. But what about those who don't have mothers? We hardly feel the importance of a mother while we are still in her presence. When the role of a mother has just been finished, we come to the real brutal world, feeling absolutely undone without her affection and love. We hardly pay heed to their advice let alone follow, but they spew it from their experience for our own sake. We all should remember this fact. Thanks to Munize M. Khasru for the reminder.
Md. Nazmul Hasan Mongla, Bagherhat

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