::: Star Weekend Magazine :::

Jokes

Airplane Fun

Some fun things to do the next time you're on one of those long international flights to kill time...
♠ Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar.
♠ Hijack the cockpit and, over the loudspeaker, announce that the first class passengers and luggage are to switch places.
♠ Run down the aisle screaming, "He's got a bomb! He's got a bomb!".
♠"Accidentally" spill soda on the dork next to you.
♠ Give someone a coin, saying "Heads, I detonate the bomb. Tails, I don't".
♠ Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling "We're out of toilet paper! Stewardess!".
♠ Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane.
♠ Start a hot dog stand.
♠ Steal businessman's laptop, play solitaire on it.
♠ Remark that perhaps you shouldn't have put super glue in your underpants that morning.
♠ Pick your nose and pat the person next to you.
♠ Switch accents and see if anyone notices.
♠ Sneak into the cockpit and hit the warning alarm.
♠ Go into the cockpit, flick on the intercom light, then loudly inquire as to why the fuel dial says "e".
♠ Don't use deodorant, then "accidentally" stick your armpit in someone's face.
♠ Sneeze, using somebody's sleeve instead of your hand to cover it.
♠ Snort when you laugh.
♠ Tell corny jokes and laugh like it's absolutely hilarious, then expect others to do the same.
♠ Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle, yelling "Yeee-ha!".
♠ With a desperate look, ask the stewardess where the bathroom is, then look relieved and say "Never mind. Do you have any towels?".
♠ Jump up and scream "AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!!".
♠ Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they're Kevin Costner or Goldie Hawn (This works best when the person looks nothing like the movie star in question)
♠ If someone has a bad toupee, whack it off.
♠ Pretend you're flying the plane.
♠ Get some rub-on tattoos and a leather jacket, pretend that you belong to a biker gang.
♠ Take over the plane with a toy gun.
♠ Yell to someone "Is it time to hijack the plane yet?" (Note: Do this when there are stewardess nearby).
♠ To the person next to you, say "It's amazing that they didn't notice the grenade in my luggage.

Source: lotofjokes.com