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     Volume 5 Issue 123 | December 8, 2006 |

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Feeling Right about the Wrong, or Vice Versa


As a citizen interested in politics (and so it seems) you have the right
to put forward formulae to solve major national crises, and this one is pretty major. Perhaps you remember too that for every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat and wrong. The nindooks say you have not covered many important aspects in your thanksgiving submission, read proposal. Huh! So what if your proposal has not considered violation of the constitution, and non-judicial killings, and grenade blasts, and…? Little do those nincompoops know that to succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

As a lawyer you have the right
to demand justice and to break everything in demanding so, not essentially approximating the berserk mob that torched a bogus flag-bahi car and ransacked the sacred court premises, but the calculated destruction of your centuries-old social standing and your revered professional institution, (sadly at the behest of politically selfish quarters) so that a part of the pawn in you is in favour of flawed judgement, not delivered blindly by justice two years older than before because the blindfold has been taken off, so that you may continue to serve the petty interest of those you sadly serve.

As a teacher you have the right
to give any one A-plus and that you did on record because that scoring is based on your personal assessment of your student; although I wonder if another university professor at his age would want to be your student. Which teacher would not be proud of his student if the latter acquired two of the most powerful jobs in the country? Which teacher would not be pleased if his student became so learned that he cared not a hoot to take any advice from any of his many advisors?

As a politician you have the right
to seek nomination from any of the hundred-plus (don't try counting, just don't trust me) registered political parties, which you are certain is the one and only party that can carry your country forward with its pakka manifesto. But, perchance if you do not find favour from your favoured party because there are ten other guys vying for the same ticket, including your father, brother and a business partner, you can overnight shed your skin (it won't even hurt) and hurriedly convert to another party, as there are several alternatives available, and proclaim loud and clear that your new adopted party is the one and only party that can carry your country forward with its pakka manifesto, even if the previous was close to pro-liberation forces and this one is not. Don't be sure of a ticket from your espoused home either, for here there are eleven razakars vying for the same.

As a telecommunication entrepreneur you have the right
to charge as much as you want for a call because most of your subscribers are from the well-to-do section of the society. And he is a bad economist if he is in business for charity and not for profit. Who has heard of a majhi talking on a mobile while sitting on his boat, except on TV? These ad guys have such oorbawr imagination. Who has seen a fisherman faxing his own CV, and to whom? People these days always misunderstand the modern Robin Hood concept; that of misusing the image of the poor to loot from the rich and the richer. I hope you understand that I understand what you understand I understand.

As an 'international' sports organiser you have the right
to convince the government to send a team abroad even if you know that the women's timing of others is close to that of our men's (and that is so because we are courteous people and do not want to go before the ladies), and to accompany any team bound for <>bidesh<> because you have sacrificed (read invested) your life for making free trips to the lands you heard about from your ostad, holding whose hand you entered this arena even without kicking a ball or hitting one before that, and to feel very sad if your country becomes host to an international event because who wants to stay home and organise the SAF games when the Asiad, the Commonwealth Games and the Olympics are a beckoning.

As a dairy farmer in a free economy you have the right
to produce doi with technological know-how from doi-ists from the opposite corner of the world, although our Bangla-speaking cows have been producing the same product for centuries with support from their respective keepers. Should this new mechanical yogurt taste any different from the earthen patil-based flavour our children are used to, then we shall surely be able to produce tall, robust and skilful footballers like Zidane, for till now our traditional dairy goods have helped our team only to digest dozen-ke-dozen rashogollas in countries that have never even seen a juicy sugary syrupy ball.

As a Bangladeshi you have the right
to feel wrong about the 'rights' of your fellow countrymen because you do not fear Satan half as much as you fear those who fear him.

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