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     Volume 6 Issue 12 | March 30, 2007 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a student of Eden College. I was in love with a guy with whom I had a very good relationship. Six months ago, he asked me to get physically involved with him, otherwise he would not continue the relationship. I firmly refused and we have not been in touch since. Recently, he has started calling me again, asking to resume our relationship, saying that he had only made the proposal because his family had asked him to cut off all relations with me. I miss him a lot but am confused about whether he really loves me, whether he's a fraud. I don't know what to do. Please help.

Dear R,
You will have to trust your instinct in this case. If you still have feelings for him then you should give this relationship a chance. However, he must be completely honest and come out straight about how serious he is and where he wants to take the relationship. Remember, it is always risky to trust but sometimes one has to take a leap of faith.

Dear Mita,
I have a friend who is always forgetting to return my things, from books and DVDs to money. I don't know if he does it on purpose or really just forgets. I feel embarrassed asking for my things back, especially money, but sometimes I really need it. How should I go about things with him?
Friend in Need

Dear Friend,
It is nice of you to be so polite and considerate. However, this friend might be taking advantage of your politeness. Please tell him gently but firmly that he should not be so forgetful and that asking for things back embarrasses you. If he is a good friend he will understand and mend his ways.


Dear Mita,
I'm a 29-year-old guy. I don't feel I'm ready to settle down yet, but my parents are in a big hurry for me to get married. They're always exploring proposals and giving my CV to people all over the place. How can I stop them? I want to take my time, enjoy my bachelor years and only settle down when I've found the right person. Please help.
Not in a Rush

Dear Not in a Rush,
Your parents can do all the hunting they want but remember, you will only get married when you want to. Nobody can force you to get married without your consent. Therefore I do not think there is anything to worry about. Just tell them firmly that you are not interested at present and will not be responsible for any embarrassment regarding this.


Dear Mita,
I live abroad and come home once or twice a year. I recently had a baby and, obviously, everyone here is always wanting to hold her, carry her and so on. But I don't feel comfortable handing my baby girl over to other people, or rather, most people. They're not as clean as I would like them to be and I also fear for my baby's safety in their hands. But it seems rude if I don't let other people take her sometimes. How should I deal with the matter?
A Mom

Dear Mom,
This is a tough one. Sometimes people react in a very negative way about such things. However, this is a very important issue and you will have to be firm without getting paranoid about the health and safety of your baby. First of all, maintain a strict routine for sleep, eating, bathing, etc. of the baby. This will take care of a lot of time. Additionally, you must insist that everyone should wash hands before touching or holding her. If you are polite but firm, people will eventually understand and leave you and the baby alone.

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