::: Star Weekend Magazine :::

View from the Bottom

Dirty No 2 City,
Rahul Gandhi and more…

Shahnoor Wahid

“Chi, chi, etta janjal...” was the first line of a popular Hindi song from the movie “Alibaba & 40 Thieves” of the '50s. The littered inner courtyard of Alibaba's house made his fiancé Morzina sing the song to utter discomfort of Alibaba. Now, after Dhaka has been awarded the khetabi> of the Second Most Dirty City of the World (Source: Forbes Magazine, Tiffany M. Luck 02.26.08), we should sing the song Chi, chi, etta janjal…in chorus to cheer ourselves. We should organise a concert at a stadium to do some anondo-foorti. Maybe, from here on, we should award our DCC leaders with the khetab> “Moila Bhai.”

Rahul Gandhi

So, what do our city fathers, grandfathers and stepfathers have to say about it? They must be very happy with the khetab But no, wait, we heard from the rumour mill that they are not really feeling 'at the top of the world'. Why? Because, insiders say, they could not fetch the No 1 Dirty City khetab, that's why! What a pity! They worked so hard for the number one position! Now we hear that emergency meetings were held in all the relevant offices to draw up a strategy to snatch the Number 1 position next time.

And as per plan, from here on, they would stop removing garbage from the roads, especially from the residential areas, so that big people can recommend Dhaka for the Number 1 position. Frankly speaking, we deserved the Number 1 position but that could not happen because of our inefficiency in negotiating at the international level. So, let's keep our fingers crossed for the good news next time around.

Rahul Gandhi living among farmers!
Very recently Rahul Gandhi went missing for days thereby robbing the security personnel of their sleep and job. The news in the Indian media goes like this: “Rahul Gandhi's repeated acts of breaking the security ring to meet with the masses is causing concern both in his Congress party and among the authorities. The young party general secretary, being touted as the future of the 122-year-old Congress party, seems to have taken a fancy for slipping out uninformed, sharing meal with poorest of the poor and spending the night at their places, much to the chagrin of the security agencies. Rahul, along with mother Sonia Gandhi, who heads the party, and sister Priyanka are among the most protected individuals in the country due to threats to the lives of the members of the elite Gandhi-Nehru family. He has just returned from a four-day tour of the opposition-ruled eastern Orissa state."

According to reports, Rahul gave the slip to the security personnel for the second time on Sunday night. Instead of spending the night at a sea-side resort organised by the state unit of the party, he went to Tanmana village in Ganjam district, had dinner with the villagers and spent the night with one of the families. Earlier on Friday he visited a tribal hamlet that is supposed to be hotbed of the naxal activities, ate dinner and spent four hours while the sweating security agencies launched a search.

Congress party old-timers say he not only resembles his father in looks but in the way he breaks security cordon. Often in Delhi, he goes to restaurants unannounced to spend time with his personal friends or heads for suburban Gurgaon to hit a private racing track on weekends. However, he gave the first real chill to the security agencies on January 26 night while on a tour of his parliamentary constituency in Uttar Pradesh.

He went to a lower caste village for a late night meeting with village women. Subsequently he shared dinner with one family and spent the night on a bamboo cot there, while the personnel of Special Protection Group, the elite security agency in charge of his security, were sweating after finding him missing. The Orissa government has already lodged a protest with the federal Home Ministry for Rahul's repeated acts of visiting villagers breaching the security protocols.”

So, you have just read what Indian press reported on Rahul playing truant. But, why should he do such a thing? Why must he go and live among the poor farmers who do not smell of Givenchy and do not eat porridge or sleep with the aircooler on? What was lacking in his house or the houses of the million supporters of his party? And why didn't he tell the supporters to make a big media show out of it for huge publicity? They could have instructed the local civil and police officials to run behind his car, order the lackey journalists to take photographs and send reports for front-page coverage! All he needed to do was just ask for it!

And why didn't he remember what used to happen in Bangladesh when the local “Juboraj” used to go out to the district towns with his sunglasses on! The entire government machinery used to run behind him and the lackey press used to give such good coverage! Oh, what a great publicity opportunity gone down the drain!

Maybe Rahul Gandhi needs to come to Bangladesh to learn a few tricks of the game of politics. If you decide to come, dear Rahul, then we shall erect 200 'torons' on the Airport Road to welcome you. You see we do it even if a local chairman returns home after a minor cataract surgery in Dhaka.

Prianka Chopra donating body limbs!
Those Indians can do amazing things, sometimes. After Rahul's vanishing act trick, Prianka Chopra, the beautiful former Miss World, and Bollywood actress, has created a furore with an announcement. She has offered her body…ahem…I mean body parts...ahem…I mean posthumously…for the befit of the medical science. My younger friend, who is more interested in things happening in this world, was visibly disappointed at the news. He asked me: “Who would be interested in her lifeless limbs?” I was profoundly flushed because, at this age, I didn't have a ready answer. And my faculties for imagining “things” have gone quite blunt… so I managed to get out of the place before he could ask me more difficult questions. Hmmm…Prianka's limbs….!!

Prianka Chopra

Oritro the wonder boy
I don't know how many of you have watched "Dance Bangla Dance Junior" on Z Bangla but I have had the opportunity to watch a few episodes. Frankly, the two little anchors, Oritro and Tathoi, have stolen the hearts of everyone in my house, including my 70-plus mother. Among the two, Oritro the boy anchor was simply brilliant in his performance, especially with his wit, presence of mind and sense of timing. This little guy is hardly 10 and yet he would instantly pick up a comment of a performer and give a befitting answer. But he excelled in “rubbing shoulders” with none other than Mithun Chakrabarti, the mega star of India. It so happened that Oritro would often outwit Mithun with his hilarious repartee and earn clapping from the audience. On one occasion Mithun told Oritro that he didn't trust him, so he would go west, if Oritro went east. Apt came Oritro's answer, “Naturally you would go west because it is setting (Osto) time for you, and I go east because I am rising (Uday).” In the makeup of little Krishna he told Mithun, “Tomake Bodhibe Jey, Gokule Bariche Shey.” But he was superb when he said, “Amar kotha Oritrakkhorey likha thakbey.” That was brilliant to create a pun of omitrakkhor (Michael Modhushodhon). Oritro was also at ease with both English and Bangla language, having impeccable accent. His knowledge of geography, history, great legends, events and mythology was simply amazing. This little genius would go far in life. Good luck Oritro and you too, Tathoi.