Lovin' With Dr. Lovelove
The Love Doctor that makes Cupid cry for his mommy…to get his diaper changed.

You Jumping-Over-the- Moon-in-Conceit Dr. Lovelove,
This time, I have a problem for you.

OK, so I was this person who thought love was an illusion...AND I didn't fall in love at 16 (girls are supposed to, I guess).

But seven days to seventeen, and this not-anywhere- near-goodlooking guy became my tutor... and I didn't even realise that I was melting... till it was too late. By then I had shifted from Dhaka to Chittagong, and obviously, long-distance love is disappointing (not the least because I don't know sweet-talk. What is it like?).
Now, there are a lot of good-looking guys, smart and funny too, in here; but, the problem is, for the last three years, he is the first and last thing I remember, and it seems as if he is breathing over my shoulders all the time, day and night; and I see him anywhere and everywhere, just to find it's just thin-air.
The catch: he WAS in love with me once upon a time, but probably HATES me now...And I don't know how to talk to him again. Plus, I don't know the ways of love...HELP ME!!!! (true Bengali-cinema-heroine-style) I really AM helpless with myself...
AND don't you call Obama your chamcha....I got a BIG crush on him...but, a crush is just that, a crush.
PS: in case you think I'm ugly, I'm moderately good-looking (I am not conceited, like Mr. Self- Declared- to-be-Knighted Dr. Lovelove.)
Puzzled-in-Hopless-Love

Dear Hoppity-Hip-Hop,
Dr. Lovelove helps those who help themselves. Through self-preservation and enlightenment, you have the potential to find the answer within you, your true self, and discover what true possibilities that exist, the incredible things you're capable of and realise that only you have the power to save yourself.

Nah, I'm just kidding. You guys are hopless. Oops. I meant, helpless. And yet, you have to go after Me. But, I shall forgive. My omnibenevolence gets the better of Me.

Profiling your character using My heightened sense of psychoanalysis, it is quite clear to Me that you're a narcissistic brat, daughter of very wealthy parents, used to getting what she wants when she wants, and who stays in a constant of melodramatic despair. Or maybe I'm just messin' with you. I rather do like pointing out people's faults. There's so many of them. Either way, the solution is simple.

Move the hell on. There is no way this is going to work because a) he's your teacher b) you're deluded because you think he fell in love with you c) you're deluded because you think THEN he started hating you d) he's not that good-looking, you can do better e) you're in Chittagong: what's a boyfriend without a little sugar? And if you still feel he's haunting you, then well, depending on your age, I'd tell you to either fall in love with a new guy in school (I'm sure you'll find a jock who'll give you no respect. That's the kind of men girls dig, after all) or go to Dhaka and confront him. If you do, don't be surprised to find him married with kids. Believe Me, you're not the type of girl to be waiting around for. You're not worth the misery.

As for Obama, maybe if I arrange a night for you at Guantanamo Bay, you'll feel differently. ;)

Problems, inquiries, endorsements and KMAs: dr.lovelove@live.com
Disclaimer: Rising Stars does not necessarily condone the views expressed in this article.

By Dr. Lovelove

Tech-corner

An apple a day melts your wallet away
New Apple iPhone 4 took the world by storm. A storm of rages and lawsuits. Calls getting dropped all the time is something even apple fanboys can't accept. Probably. Apple blames users for holding it wrong, that is to say, holding it against the ear in your palm. We wonder why apple held it wrong, too, in their commercials, and how one should REALLY hold it.

Apple releases bumper pieces at $29 a piece. People soon realised that it was just another way to waste your money so they filed a class-action lawsuit. Apple apologised and said algorithm was to blame. But problem persists even after a software update. Apple engineers shake their heads saying, “I told you so.” Despite all this and the crappy antenna, Apple sold 1.7 million iPhone 4s. Fanboys right to the end.

Also, it can be used as an iPod touch for left handed users. Who can probably also sue for discrimination.

IE. e.g. IE6. Mozilla Addons downloaded in billions
Who knew that Internet Explorer (and other softwares, too, one assumes) had market shares? Regardless, IE gains a little bit of market share. That is to say, one of their most failed products gains market share. That is of course Internet Explorer version 6.

Mozilla's Addons have been downloaded billions of time. 2 billions, to be precise with 150 million active use daily. Flabbergasting numbers

Crane Transformation
For those of us dreaming of having our own Transformer Challenger, our dreams may not be too far. Well, maybe it's further than our lifespan but that's closer than science-fiction movies with awesome 3D animations but lame stories. Researchers have come with programmable folding sheets. The details of the technology aren't important. What is important is our newfound dream of becoming magicians magically transforming half-millimetre sheets of silicon into cranes without using hands. Researchers hope to make a transforming Swiss Army Knife, soon. We await eagerly.

Googling the world
Web Giant Google has bought flight information service company ITA. They plan to implement the information tool into Google itself. ITA's software known as Forecast was acquired by Microsoft to use with Bing. Google claims not to harbour ill will against existing agreements, but that doesn't stop worrying people about monopolisation.

Sources: Internet

By Emil

RS Mailbox

Your love-hate connection with Rising Stars

Urshia Rahman: Every single issue is better than the previous one! I liked the whole issue like hell. Let me tell you, I cannot enumerate the things I liked about this week's issue, 'cause well, I liked it a bit too much! Honorary mention: SN Rasul, when you write, you write it crazy! I loved it!

Tasnema Tarannum: RS is as good as ever. But now it's THREE consecutive weeks Kokoro hasn't been writing. We demand him. Oh, love you Alien and Alvi.

Syed Shadman Sakib Akash: I liked "A litany about law enforcers" and enjoyed "Lovin' with Dr. Lovelove" and our "partist" Shahriar Shamim Emil bro's "Winds of change", Rasul's "Nicotine", and Sabrina Apu's "Strange and beautiful" .But I wonder: Where's Babu?

Anika Tasnim: Awesome issue, loved it. Thanks for bringing back the good old childhood memories. Esphelin is really, really random, but I love his work. Rasul and Dr.Lovelove are my favourites. Hats off to Rising Stars! I'm looking forward to the next issues. Keep it up!

Wasif LFG: RS always does this to me. After coming back from school, I make myself at home in the washroom with RS. 2-3 hrs pass by and my dad screams: "What's my kid doing in there?" When I come out at last, I've got my leg hurt. Then my dad says, "Why do u do this to yourself?" I reply, "Its my fate on Thursdays!" By the way, Raisa, you rock. Thanks for your awesome article.

Shariq Bin Nasim: Last week's one was a gem in its own ways. Hats off to Prof. Spork.; best cover page article read in weeks. Alvi was superb with the goal celebrations, bang on. Nayeem did a good job on the referees. The rest, I've got to admit, wasn't eye-catching. Well, I guess you did confess that you were BLANK.

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