Keeping Faith

A man came home from an exhausting day at work, plopped down on the couch in front of the television and told his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”
The wife sighed and got him a beer.
Fifteen minutes later, he said, “Get me another beer before it starts.”
She looked cross, but fetched another beer and slammed it down next to him.
He finished that beer and a few minutes later said, “Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute.”
The wife was furious. She yelled at him, “Is that all you're going to do tonight, you piece of shit? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore ...”
The man sighed and said, “Aww its started.”

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, “I thought you didn't believe in Me!”
“Come on, God, give me a break!!” the man pleaded. “Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!”

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News: The government gives in to the pressure of the private bus owners and withdraws BRTC double deckers from Northern Districts.