Your Daily Star for the Day

(Professor) Chintito

No horoscope is true for everyone. Only a self-selected few may benefit from the forecasts below.

Aries (March 20 - April 19): Be yourself today - 100% you. The world needs more individuality. Revel in your unique qualities of spitting anywhere and be generous with sharing them with the world. Feel free to adopt new, unconventional and noisy ways of discharging your inner sediments. Beware, however, that there may be a strong, grounding force that is trying to tie you down to social norms, such as toilet basins. Introduce your ideas to the world and watch as magical things start to happen, viz. Dhaka City Corporation forgetting to collect the garbage for the whole week.
Taurus (April 20 - May 19): Today you can make great progress in all of your endeavours, such as asking your tenant to pay his dues of the last two years. Be careful, however, of dissuasion from other people. There may be a cloud of surrealism that is covering up reality. You may need to do a little digging to find the truth, whether he really has an MK19 hidden in the back garden. Maintain a mellow attitude in order to stay safe, as if you are not interested in the money. Sudden, extreme actions that are fuelled by anger from his side are likely to get you into trouble. Psst! don't show him this copy of SWM.
Gemini (May 20 - June 20):Tune in to your TV today. Do you often get an intense sense of jealousy when it seems like people on Chaya Chando are living these amazing lives while you are stuck in a dull and boring routine of switching channels? The only person who can pull yourself out of this rut is you, so stop complaining and simply do it. Pick up anything and start dancing around the nearest tree. Changing is much easier than it may seem at first. Therefore, change into something colourful. Dump the pastel fabrics. Let your imagination take control and wait for that someone. Work towards manifesting your most fanciful goals. There you go! Who told you to watch football?
Cancer (June 21 - July 21): There are extremely slow moving energies that are coming into play today. What they are providing, however, is a key to manifesting your wildest dreams of reaching your office on time. Fantasy can become your reality, but it may only come one small step at a time if you are caught in a jam. Get down and start walking. Don't give up. Focus on the unconventional way of getting things done, such as taking off your shoes and running. You will eventually achieve everything your heart desires as long as you truly believe that you can get there before your boss. No forecast required to predict that he too is caught in a jam.
Leo (July 22 - Aug. 22): There may be a great deal of conflict in your life today, and bills of different service organisations seem to be pulling you to different banks in all directions. Your sanity is being put to the test. Try not to be too stubborn about paying on schedule, for this will only cause more tension among you and the three-hour queues that you encounter before reaching each booth. You also have the potential of stressing out over the smallest things, such as an additional zero on the right side of your bill amount. Try to avoid this scenario if you can by unsubscribing from public services. Go back to rural wisdom of going to bed at sunset. Also start believing in the ancient motto: the world is my loo.
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept. 21): Consider making some long-term investments, both monetary and emotional. Pay your tuition fees now and hope for a rich spouse in the future. There is a great deal of prosperity available to you now, but beware of being deceived by others. Do not agree to getting married while studying. Your would-be would be too upset with such an academic attitude. Everyone yearns for some attention on wedding night. But in order to take full advantage of this chance offered by the cosmos, you would be better to spend more time alone, or allow a break in order to be able to reflect on what you want to achieve and where you are really going. In other words, study hard.
Libra (Sept. 22 - Oct. 22): Your social life seems to be on cloud nine, as you have many distant relatives visiting for the summer holidays. Don't even think about staying in, despite the rains, as you just can't afford to waste the opportunities of getting away from them. But your ruling planet, Venus, also moves into Leo, so you will be the centre of the attention at whatever gathering you are a part of, primarily because you are the only one with an umbrella on the street. Introducing a leak on the roof, having a toilet flush that does not work and setting up creepy insects will ensure invasion is not repeated next year.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): Don't gamble away your resources. Take the safest route. Borrow some money from a nationalised bank. There is a great deal of force out there encouraging you to act, but with all the money you have you could become a producer. So go for a big amount. Maintain a strong and healthy balance between old and new stars. Try to be more open to change, because they might just do so in front of you. Fear not as your career path is open to new opportunities that could leave you speechless. Whether you have been thinking of changing jobs, things are looking good as you have the Moon right behind you, cheering you along. Most failed producers have become night guards.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Get things out in the open today. As the sun could be out after a week of rain and clouds, it is a good day for drying things. If it seems like someone is insulting you, pretend you do not understand. But letting things fester inside will only result in the destruction of your own self-esteem. So getting a dog to do the barking back helps; street dogs and neighbour's dogs allowed. But your abusive friend could also feign vacuity. This could very well be one of those situations in which everyone else sees the truth except you, that a dog is a dog is a dog. Don't let others pull the wool over your eyes. Keep away from sheep.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): Even if partnership matters (permanent or footloose) have taken a new turn since the introduction of road dividers compel your rickshaw/car to travel an extra five hundred yards to reach your opposite sign, you have everything you need to take any relationship into deeper and more satisfying waters. Using feet cuts travel distance but roads could be flooded. The sheer number of beneficial influences in your house of joint financial matters and deep one-to-one bonds indicates that a little mystery (missing money) and magic (use your imagination) will go a long way. As Venus moves into Leo later in the week, you will find that you also attract opportunities to increase your investments with some fresh sweet-talking symbols.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 17): Every day brings new opportunities and the chance for rapid advancement. Grab hold of all filled-up areas and clogged-up drains being offered to you. Coming down from the hills up north, you have a great deal of potential, but potential is one of those things that do no good until you actively harness it. Today is one of those days in which you can take an important step toward manifesting your dreams of inundating uncharted areas of the city. Although one is coming down and the other is going up, you will get ample support from the torrential rain and the unscrupulous developers. Also be kind to politicians when they pose for a photograph in knee-deep you.
Pisces (Feb. 18 - Mar. 19): Adjustments may need to be made for you to relate well to people who elected you and who did not. Somehow things are a bit off kilter and you may find that the harder you try to fit into Iraq, the more you are apt to feel like an oddball. In future try not to get caught up in other people's battles. In future also get UN sanction as the world got for Liberia. Work to maintain a balance between real life (the actual world) and fantasy (the world you envisage from your high stool). Be careful that you don't get so caught up in someone else's world that you forget to deal with your own. It could harm your second term prospects.