Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am my parents' first child. I used to have a brother and a sister but my younger brother passed away in June of this year and I am now my parents' only son. I have just given my HSC exams and am taking private tuition for my university admission tests, for which I have to go out four times a week. But my parents always worry whenever I go out, especially after the August 21 incident which has made it difficult for me to go out. I have talked to my friends about it, but they haven't really been able to help. What can I do?
H

Dear H,
Security has become a big concern for most people and more so for parents. Your parents cannot be blamed for being so concerned about your safety. However, they have to be assured that you will be safe and will be careful wherever you go. I am sure they want you to do well in your admission tests, therefore, take some time to reassure them that you will be okay. Keep them informed about where you are going and when you will be back. Make sure that you return at the right time and inform them if you cannot. Gradually, your parents will start to feel secure about letting you go out.

Dear Mita,
I am an HSC student at MC College. I like music, especially the violin, and am learning how to play it. But my father dislikes music and I have to practically sneak to my violin teacher's. I also don't have a place to practise as my father is always home. What can I do to learn music properly and in peace?
ASK

Dear ASK,
You should talk to your father and explain why music is important to you. Also convince him that this will not hamper your studies. Perhaps your mother can help or your brothers and sisters. Please do not worry about this too much. If you are determined to pursue this then you will surely find a way. Your father will eventually learn to accept it.

Dear Mita,
I am a 24-year-old man. I have recently graduated from DU and will soon be going abroad to do my Masters. I have been involved with one of my classmates for the last three and a half years. Our first year together, we were deeply in love and very happy. But things have changed a lot since then. I started to lose my attraction towards her but we remained involved, probably because of my physical desire. But in the last few months, I feel very irritated by her. I don't enjoy her company or even talking to her on the phone. I'm really bored with her. But the problem is that she still loves me like she used to. I want to break up with her but she doesn't and I don't want to dump her either. But I can't bear to continue this relationship. What should I do?
--Fretful

Dear Fretful,
People do fall out of love and the world does not end. You must try to communicate your real feelings to her and how they have changed. There is no point in carrying on a relationship when one partner is not interested anymore. It is unfortunate that one of the two persons suffers and is the victim. However, in the long-term perspective, it is better to break it off now than to suffer a lifetime of unhappiness. Please remember that you have to do this with the utmost sensitivity and respect towards her.