Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
Until recently, I've had an extremely close relationship with my best friend. We've known each other for more than six years and shared each other's deepest secrets. Our friendship had become a little shaky when she started going out with a guy about two years ago, but even that problem was overcome and I came to be on quite amiable terms with her boyfriend later on. However, her boyfriend left to study abroad a few months ago and as we started our A' Levels in a new school, she seemed to be too obsessed with her new life and new friends, which apparently has no place for me in it. Now, she is a totally different person who is definitely not the girl who was my best friend for so many years. Of late, we have been deliberately successful in hurting each other's feelings and I can't take this anymore. So I've decided to completely exclude her from my system . . . But it's hard . . . How do I do it?
BrOKeN

Dear BrOKeN,
Friendship is mutual and voluntary. It cannot be forced or imposed. If for some reason she has lost interest and does not want to be your friend anymore, then let her go. She has the right to choose her friends just as you have. In fact, instead of trying to hurt her, you should ignore her and pretend that her silly behaviour is not affecting you. There is a chance that she might realise her mistake and come back. However, if she does not then you must accept it and look for other friends.

Dear Mita,
I live in a village in Brahminbaria which has been terribly damaged by the recent floods, the worst in many years. We are suffering due to lack of food and medical treatment. A nearby village which, has not been damaged as much, however, is getting more aid than us with the help of some influential people. We need psychological as well as economic support in order to start rebuilding our lives. How do we do this?
AM

Dear AM,
In our country everything happens with the aid of influential people. You have to identify somebody with influence and request him/her to assist your village. You should also go and meet the UNO and the DC and insist that your village needs help. Try to find out what NGOs are working in your area, perhaps they can also help.

Dear Mita,
I am a 3rd year physics student at Chittagong University. I am having some difficulty with my faculty members. Most of the senior professors, I feel, are unable to teach. They simply come to class with a notebook from which they write everything on to the blackboard. They do not deal with important and current topics but keep discussing the traditional ones. They seem to have little idea about the grading system curriculum and teaching process. But when it comes to exams, formulating question and assigning grades, they are very strict. Most of us students are frustrated with our low grades. Is there anything we can do about our faculty?
Gravely Frustrated K

Dear Frustrated,
I wish there was something I could say that would help. Often students are victims of bad teaching and there is nothing one can do. Perhaps you could collectively approach some higher authority and make a complaint, although I do not know how helpful that will be. The other alternative is to get private coaching from someone else.