men were flying on a plane over the jungle when it crashed.
They were the only people who survived. They decided that
starting the next morning one of them would go out and make
weapons and see if he could kill anything.
the next morning the first man went out. He didn't come back
till about noon. When they saw him they ran to him and helped
him carry the deer back to the plane wreckage. They asked
him how he killed it.
said "I find tracks...I follow tracks...I kill deer."
the next morning the second guy set out. He too came back
at noon. When they saw him they ran to him and helped him
carry the buffalo he had killed back to the plane wreckage.
They asked him how he had killed it.
said "I find tracks...I follow tracks...I kill buffalo."
next morning the third guy went out. The other two were watching
and watching for him. When it was almost sundown and he still
hadn't returned they started getting worried. Then they saw
a person stumbling towards them he looked awful, really bad
cuts and a broken arm. They went and helped him to the fire
they had made and asked him what had happened.
said "I find tracks...I follow tracks...and...I got hit
by a train."
Horoscope for the Workplace
ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future
simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year
of your birth. Demographics tell us what you like, dislike,
whom you vote for, what you buy, and what you watch on TV.
Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by
your job title, people will have you all figured out...
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree
to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead
on drinking and socialising, which is pretty much what your
job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing
without a degree," you are also self-centred and paranoid.
Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money,
you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you
can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration
for your golf game throughout your life.
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are
instead content to completely control everything that happens
at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you
are saying, but who the hell can tell?! It is written that
the geeks shall inherit the Earth.
One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it
is said that 90 percent of all personal ads are placed by
engineers. You can be happy with yourself: your office is
typically full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets.
However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal
The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly
immune from office politics. You are the most feared person
in the organisation; combined with your extreme organisational
traits, the majority of rumours concerning you say that you
are completely insane.
RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidential
information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the
organisation. Possibly the only other person that does less
work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today
because you have to get a haircut, have lunch and mail a letter!
MANAGEMENT/DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/"TEAM LEADS":
Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined
to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable
to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by
the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best
suited to marry other "Middle Managers," as everyone
in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."
MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless,
you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest
of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to
measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule
for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers,"
as everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager."
SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a short
way away from taking your own life. As a child very few of
you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room
and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer
Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your
best bet is to oil the boss.
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound
up together at the gates of Heaven. The gatekeeper informed
them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have
to answer one question. He addressed the teacher and asked,
"What was the name of the ship that crashed into the
iceberg? They just made a movie about it."
The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic."
The gatekeeper let him through the gate. He turned to the
garbage man and, figuring Heaven REALLY didn't need all the
odours that this guy would bring with him, decided to make
the question a little harder: "How many people died on
Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie
and answered, "About 1,500." "That's right!
You may enter."
The gatekeeper then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."
(R) thedailystar.net 2005