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     Volume 4 Issue 17 | October 15, 2004 |


   Cover Story
   News Notes
   A Roman Column
   Human Rights
   Straight Talk
   In Retrospect
   Time Out
   On Campus
   Slice of Life
   Book Review
   Dhaka Diary
   New Flicks
   Write to Mita

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I'm a first year student of Law and Justice at Rajshahi University. I previously attended a renowned cadet college. I had high ambitions and my parents wanted me to get into the Bangladesh army or study medicine. But I couldn't get into either. I finally got into Rajshahi University. Now I feel like my parents and family have started neglecting me ever since. They think Rajshahi University is not as good as Dhaka University and that my subject is not an honourable one. I know the results of my department are better than those of DU students but people will just think I'm being defensive. I'm in a dilemma. If I try for admission into medical school, my current studies will be hampered. I also don't want a gap in my studies. Now, neither am I able to concentrate on my studies nor am I able to make friends with my classmates. I'm very lonely and distressed. Please help me.

Dear ABH,
It is now totally up to you to prove them wrong. Perhaps your parents are disappointed that it did not work out the way they wanted. But I am sure they still love you and do not have any intention of neglecting you. It is high time that you put this behind and look ahead. That is, getting excellent grades in the subject that you are presently studying. There is no need to get into the debate of which university is better. The deciding factor is what you do with your life after you come out of university. The first step in this direction is to graduate with good grades and plan your career. Remember, nothing succeeds like success. Everyone will stop talking when they see you succeed and this only you can do.

Dear Mita,
I've had a really good friend these last two years who was also like a girlfriend. We had a lot in common. Recently, however, she told me that she can't be in this relationship anymore and that she wants to go abroad. She has already been accepted at an university in the UK. At first, I wanted her to go and encouraged her as I was also planning to go abroad. I wanted both of us to get a good education while staying in touch even while abroad, just like any committed couple. But now she's saying that she wants to settle there and doesn't want to come back. I wanted us to be together all our lives but my plans are going all wrong. She's being selfish and putting her own career above our relationship. But she's saying that I'm not looking at things from her point of view though I think I am. I don't know why she's doing this. Should I just forget her and move on or wait for her in case she comes back after some years?

Dear Lost,
It is not fair to accuse her of being selfish when all she is doing is trying to be independent. I do not know how old you are but at this age it is better not to get tied down in any serious, permanent relationships. Accept the fact that she is going but keep in touch. Who knows, over the years, both of you might change and realise that you are not as well matched as you thought. I do not think it is necessary to make decisions about forgetting her and getting on with life or waiting for her.

Dear Mita,
I am a college student. I need to study a lot but I just can't concentrate on my studies. I waste time talking to people all day long when I should be studying. Every day I tell myself that I will study regularly from the day after but I can't do it. I am a good student but this is a major drawback which is turning me into a bad student. Please help.

Dear M,
I have answered this kind of question before. My response has been that in this kind of a situation only you can help yourself. You just have to get out of the rut and tell yourself that from today, not tomorrow or the day after, but today you will sit and study. If anything is bothering you then you should also talk about that with someone. Remember, time lost is something you can never get back, therefore do not waste it. Think about all the opportunities you have that others do not and put your mind back to studies.




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