Jokes

Getting your own back

How To Annoy Other People

* Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
* In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
* Specify that your drive-through order is "for here".
* If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
* Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
* Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions to "keep them tuned up."
* Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
* Practice making fax and modem noises.
* Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
* Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
* Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
* Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
* Honk and wave to strangers.
* Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
* Type only in uppercase.
* Type only in lowercase.
* Don't use any punctuation either.
* Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
* Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
Do you hear that?"
("What?")
"Never mind, it's gone now."
* As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
* Ask people what gender they are.
* While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
* Sing along at the opera.
* Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

9 Humorous Definitions!
* Experience: What you will get while looking for something else.
* Zoo: A place for animals to study the habits of human beings.
* Adam: The only man in the world who couldn't say," Pardon me, haven't I seen you before?"
* Dentist: A person who extracts both your teeth and money.
* Bald: When one has less hair to comb and more face to wash.
* Death: Stop sinning suddenly.
* Neighbour: A person who is out of something.
* Smile: A small curve that solve big problems.

Source: Fukkad.com/trivia