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Reflections
Out
on the Street
Kajalie
Shehreen Islam
“I
was returning to work after having lunch with a couple of
colleagues. It was a short distance and we decided to walk.
All of a sudden, someone's leg almost got entangled in mine.
I half-turned to see a man in a lungi and an open
shirt. Disentangling his leg from mine, I felt his hand run
up my hip and towards his mouth where he touched it in the
gesture of a 'salaam'. As he walked on ahead of me, I saw
him turn around several times to stare at me with yellow,
disturbing eyes. I can still feel his hand on my body. The
picture of him looking at me the way he did still floats uncomfortably
in front of my eyes, making me feel sick."
This is
not the first time she has felt this way, says Shaila Ahmed
(not her real name). Yet she has lived most of her 22 years
in a more or less sheltered environment. "I don't know
how women who have to be out on the street every day deal
with it," she says. "And I was with two other people,
one a man. I can't imagine how much worse it could've been
if I'd been alone."
Two
days prior to the incident above, Shaila was again out with
another female colleague, waiting for a CNG scooter. Two men
passing by kept saying, "SubhanAllah, look at
what God has made! He has done a good job!"
"It's
funny," says Shaila, "how in both incidents the
men used religious expressions and the name of God with such
sleazy connotations."
Women
from a more advantageous social background, with private cars
and other such facilities, still have it relatively easy.
Most, however, do not. They travel to and from work and other
places alone in rickshaws, CNG scooters and even local buses.
Some, like many garment factory workers and part-time domestic
help, walk. All of them have to deal with men -- from the
rickshawpuller or bus helper to the fellow passenger or the
random man on the street -- harassing them. Those who work
in offices often have to spend their days in the company of
male colleagues who often create an uncomfortable environment
for women by making either outright or indirectly filthy comments
and gestures toward them.
"Why
should women even have men staring at them?" asks Shaila,
"Let alone making dirty comments and feeling them up.
They are not animals on display in a zoo. These men do have
mothers and sisters and wives and daughters; it's not like
they've never seen a woman before."
Shaila's
experiences are far from rare. Women are continually harassed
on as well as off the street. But as common as these occurrences
may be, it usually takes women a few minutes to recover from
the shock of being touched or even spoken to in a dirty manner
by strange men on the street or colleagues at work. When they
do, it is usually too late to do anything. Even if they respond
quickly with a rebuke or even a slap, there is always the
possibility of the man denying the allegation and challenging
them even more rudely. Either way, it is the women who are
left struggling to recover from such disquieting incidents.
Religion,
along with power -- whether derived from social position or
simply that of being a man -- seem always to be used, directly
or indirectly, against women. Where, in truth, claim some
men, religion actually says that women should be placed on
a pedestal.
Instead
of dwelling on theory, Shaila tries to push aside the incident
into the dark box in her mind already holding similar experiences.
As she struggles to deal with the unsettling look of those
yellow eyes and the touch that still sends ugly shivers up
her body, she can only hope to be more prepared and less shaken
the next time she steps out.
Copyright
(R) thedailystar.net 2004
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