Dear Mita,
I'm a 20-year-old literature student. My family and I moved to a new house some time ago. I don't have the same opportunities as I did before. Though my family is educated, they want me confined within the four walls of my house, not wanting me to participate in cultural programmes and other activities that would give me exposure. My neighbourhood doesn't help as some guys are always making rude comments. My parents always worry when I go out anywhere. But I'm a grown woman and I know my limits. I'm fed up of these restrictions and I can't convince my parents otherwise. What should I do? Please help.
--S

Dear S,
The best way to deal with these issues is to prove that you are grown up and capable of handling independence. Given the law-and-order situation, parents tend to be over protective. Continue to talk to them and demonstrate that you can take care of yourself. Try to find the logic behind their behaviour and why they have changed since coming to the new house. Perhaps the neighbourhood is unsafe or they feel vulnerable for some other reasons. Try to see the problem from their side but at the same time push for your greater independence.

Dear Mita,
I am a first year college student. My father is a government servant. He is a good person, helps the poor and is respected by everyone in society. But at home, he is very bad-tempered and gets angry over the smallest things. I hardly speak to him anymore, unless it's something very important and a distance has grown between him and myself, his eldest son. He doesn't give me any freedom and only asks me to study. How can I make things better between him, myself and our family as a whole?
--SA

Dear SA,
Traditionally fathers in our society play the role of the person who maintains all the discipline in the family. This is a stereo- typed role and many fathers believe that if they don't play this then they will lose their authority in the family. No doubt you father is a very kind person and liked by others but that does not make him a democratic person. In this situation you will have to take an extra effort to build relations with him. Talk to him about things. Remember, all elderly person love to have conversations on various topics. Take an interest in what he does, enquire about his health, make him feel special. If you make all these efforts slowly the barriers that have arisen will be removed . Remember for all that your father has done for you and the family, this will be a worthwhile investment.

Dear Mita,
I passed my Honours and Masters B.Com. from Dhaka University and have been working in a private bank as a senior officer for the past five years. I'm not happy with my job as my class friends are in better positions than me. I'm also facing some problems in the practical field which I cannot write about. I had always wanted to live abroad but now I'm not sure as to whether I should try and go abroad or try and establish myself here.
--SS

Dear SS,
If you are looking for a change in career then you should start to plan for it. Being stuck in a job that you do not like can be very frustrating However, you should be practical and not do anything rash. Look for a suitable job while you have this job. This increases your bargaining power. If you are thinking of going abroad then enquire about possible options. As you know it is not so easy to go to a new place and find a job. Most importantly, do not compare your situation with that of your friends. This does not help but rather creates resentment which is difficult to overcome.